Quiet time

Dear Boston,

Today was day two of no nap.  We're starting a new adventure together, of giving up naps for quiet time. We've got some kinks to work out, but for the most part it's going great.  At 10 o clock I could of sworn you were in dire need of a nap and we even tried for one (unsuccessfully).  About 5 o clock tonight you could barely keep your eyes open and Daddy had to spoon feed you dinner (I think we'll try for a nap tomorrow). Around 4 o clock you wandered into the kitchen and exclaimed out of the blue,

                                          "I'm not tired!" ...while rubbing your eyes.

 But it's 3 o clock that made today really special, when you and I sat feet to feet on opposite ends of the couch.  You had your coloring crayons, paper and a coloring book and I had my computer.  We sat across from each other with our legs wrapped in the quilt I made (you know the one...the only one I've ever made).  Every now and then you'd show me the picture you were drawing or just look up and smile at me.

I watched you draw for a bit, then scooped you up and held you, like I did when you were my only baby.  I told you all about how much I loved sharing our quiet time together and you soaked it all in; Pure bliss.

The witching hour struck around 5 o clock and you and Zekey followed me around the house for a half hour, pawing at me while crying as I tried to get dinner ready. 5 o clock was rough, but it's 3 o clock that's sticking with me...and I think it will for a long time.  I hope those are the moments that stick with you too.

Thanks for all the hours. :)

A picture of us months and months ago when you were sick.  

Love,
Momma

Letter to Isaac

Dear Isaac,

I just wanted to tell you what a cute little stinker you are.  At 14 months you're becoming much less of a zombie walker, and more of a real boy.  :)  I call you my bulldog that thinks he's a Chihuahua.  You're such a big boy now, but you think you're still a tiny babe and you try to curl your whole body across my chest just as you did when you were first born.  You're also my little crab because you like to pinch things when you get tired.  That "thing" is usually me, but lately I can tell you're getting tired when you start walking around pinching your own neck.  :)  I love that you're still my cuddle bug and you're a definite Momma's boy, however Daddy is finding a place in your heart as well.  You even have moments of choosing him over me!  Shocking...I know. :)
You still love to be swaddled and you LOVE to sit with your books or have Mommy read them to you.  If brother is watching a show on Daddy's phone you like to have your head front and center.  The 5 words you know are
Momma
Dadda
Bob
Nanna
Uh-oh

You love to pretend you're on the phone and you love making car and plane noising when playing toys with brother.

We love you so much.  Your giant smile brings us so much joy!

Happy 14 months today on the 14th of October!

Love,
Momma

Happy 3rd Birthday Boston

Dear Boston,

You turned the big 3 years old today!  What a big boy you are. That happened way too fast for my liking.  We had a great time celebrating your birthday today.  We've been talking for weeks about your birthday and all the things we'll do to celebrate.  You seem to remember mostly talk about planes (for the airplane party we will be having) and cupcakes.

The morning started off normal with you crawling into our bed, bright and early to catch a little more sleep and slowly start your day.  Once you did wake up the first words out of your mouth were, "It's my birthday!".  We cuddled for awhile in bed (all 4 of us) and you and Zekey drank your morning milk.  Then we headed downstairs (you in Daddy's arms) while singing you Happy Birthday.  The family room was filled with balloons and in the center of balloons were 3 presents wrapped in lightening Mcqueen paper. We opened presents which were 50 matchbox cars, a lightening MCQueen Mac Truck and a bubble machine, then we had breakfast.  You sat on the counter as you watched me flip pancakes on the griddle.  I loaded up your special red birthday plate with a couple buttery syrupy pancakes and you ate them right up.  Daddy ate with us then headed off to work.  After breakfast we played cars for a bit, then headed upstairs to get showered and ready for the day.

We spent the rest of the morning playing in the front yard with your new bubble machine.  You and Zekey got a kick out of it.  At noon we headed off to a Trampoline house in Kennewick. On the way there we even spotted a train crusining on by...a special birthday train we called it.   You had so much fun at the trampoline house (while our buddies Charlie and Gavin were there) but after they left you seemed pretty tired and asked if we could just sit on the stairs.  Our next stop was the grocery store for you to pick out the cupcake of your little heart's desires.  We were tuckered out from a busy morning of jumping, so we ate lunch on the couch, cuddled up, while watching Jake and the Neverland pirates.  I then put you and Zekey down for naps and when you woke up Daddy was home from work.  We all cuddled up in bed (for the 2nd time today) and sang happy birthday a couple more times...which by the way,you always sing with us.

There was only one present left to give you and since Daddy was fighting the sickies I had you cuddle up to him in bed and brought the present up to you.  It was your first bike.  Black with red handles and a star on the seat. You love it.  We took it outside and you learned how to pedal! Daddy watched (wishing he had the energy to be with us) from the bedroom window and cheered you on with thumbs ups and waves. After a little we came inside and you asked to swiffer the house (your new favorite thing) for the umpteenth time today while I made dinner.  While dinner was baking you, me and Zekey had a mini dance party and Daddy watched from the sidelines.  The final touch to the day was your mint green cupcake, complete with 3 big boy candles (pink, yellow and white...selected by you).
We sang Happy Birthday for the final time and you blew out your candles.

All day long I felt so grateful for you.  I'm so grateful that you are mine.  I'm in awe that Heavenly Father sent you to me.  How did Daddy and I get so lucky?  I realize how much Heavenly Father must love all of us, when I think of how much I love you, because there isn't a thing I would change about you.  You're one of my most favorite people.  I love you for exactly who you are and I wouldn't change a thing. I'm a very blessed Momma.

Ok, so in honor of your 3rd birthday I will tell you 3 things I love about you.

1.  I love that you're empathetic.  You care when other's (especially family) are sad and you want to make it better.
2.  I love that you love a good dance party.  If I start dancing, you never fail to join me.
3.  I love how forgiving you are.  What a great quality.  You often are telling me, "Oh that's ok Mom".

I love you to the moon and back darling boy.  It's been so exciting adventuring with you for the last 3 years and every year I spend with you I think, "this is my favorite".  They've all been so good.  So sweet.

Love,
Momma

Snippets

Dear Boston,

I have to record some snippets of your pretend play for you (and me) to always remember. You're playing with your trucks and little people right now and saying things like,

"What Happened?!"
"Hi how are you?"
"Oh good"
"What you doing?"
"Oh, we're best friends"

And then you make LOTS of crashing and "heelp" "Nooo!" noises.

After the crash you continue with sweet conversation,

"You Silly"

And then some more crash talk,

"Hello, he's gonna squish me"
"Uh oh he's gonna squish me"
"I don't like going up!"
"Ahhhh"
"Your turn"
"That's hard for me".

I could listen to you play pretend all day.  I delight in your imagination. :)

Love, Momma

1 Year with Isaac

Dear Isaac,

Just a couple days ago you turned one!  What a big boy you are!  For your first birthday party we had a Little Gentleman's theme and served cookies and milk. :)  We had all the Yancey family attend (except for Uncle Jason and Aunt Aleece since they don't live here).  You are the cutest one year old in the whole world.  At your birthday we played a video of your newborn pictures and you still look like the same little baby to me and Daddy.  You still have all your cute chub, your big blue eyes and your sweet smile.  Your hair has lightened up quite a bit though, just like brother's did.

You and I are still the best of pals.  You're happiest if we're touching. :)  We just stopped nursing and it makes me a little sad because it's just the start of you becoming my big boy.  You're always on the move, crawling or scooting along furniture all day long.  You love to look at your books and play with brother's trucks. You're silly (like the rest of us) and love to dance and make loud noises back and forth with brother.  The only time you like to be sitting still is if you're cuddled up in my arms.

Our song (the one I sing to you while we rock) is "The Way You Look Tonight".  It's actually a really sweet little lullaby and you drift right to sleep when I start to sing it. Every night I swaddle you up (you still LOVE to be swaddled) and lay you on your side, but immediately you roll to your tummy, bum in air and close your little eyes.  In the morning you call to me from the monitor and I open the door to see you peaking over the edge of your crib.

We've only taught you one baby sign, "food" and you use it often.  It's super cute.  We've gotta start teaching you more signs, cause you are ready to communicate.

We love you sweet baby.  You have added so much to our little family and we could not imagine you not being here.  Daddy and I lay in bed many nights talking about how cute your little face is and laughing about all of the funny things you did that day.  In fact last night Daddy and I went on a date so we pulled you out of bed when we got home and you snuggled in Daddy's arms for a good while before we popped you back in bed.

We love you darling boy.

Love,
Momma

Big Boy

Dear Boston,

I've been waiting to write this letter for about a week, but we've been caught up in the craziness of moving. I finally found a moment while Daddy's touching up paint that I can sit down and write to you real quick.

About a week ago Daddy and I put you to bed as usual and you slept in your big boy underwear as usual.  In the middle of the night Daddy and I awoke to little footsteps passing us by.  Normally when you wake up in the night you come to our bed and tell one of us that you have to go potty, or you just climb in our bed to cuddle and fall back asleep.  But not tonight.

Daddy and I peaked our eyes open to watch you pass us by and head straight for our bathroom.  You went potty, flushed, put your Thomas the Train (or perhaps Lightening McQueen) underwear back on and pitter pattered right past us again and back to your room like it was no big deal.  Like you do this all the time.  As if it wasn't one of those stop us in our tracks (even at 2 am) parenting moments that deserves some acknowledgement! But there was no clapping, no cheering.  You didn't even stop to look back to see if we were watching, you just walked on by leaving Daddy and I to turn to each other and at the same time say, "Big boy!"  in somewhat sad voices.

Watching you grow up is adorable and exciting and heartbreaking all at the same time.  Some of the time you're so aware of how big you're getting and you swell up with pride in all your big boy glory.  But most of the time you don't see how much your changing and growing and turning into this amazing little person, but I do.  I'm so acutely aware of it and I gotta tell you kid, you're breaking my heart a little.
 Slow down.  Be little always.  At the very least don't stop saying, "I need Momma".  I already had to give up "Poons for spoons", that's where I draw the line.

These Little Men

Dear Boys,

I wrote this post about the two of you.  

Love, Momma

These little men of mine are growing up too fast.  Sometimes I wish I could capture them forever, just as they are right now.

My boys and their beautiful big blue eyes.  Their sweet smiles that make me laugh.  Their masses of light and dark hair mixed, with cowlicks in all the same places as Daddy.  My boys have big paws.  I rocked them both as we wound down for naps and I smiled noticing their long fingers and giant feet flopped over one another.  Those big hands and feet are a constant reminder that my Littles won’t be little for long.

These boys are equal parts silly and sweet, with a giant dollop of wild mixed in.  They love to dance. Isaac feels the rhythm of the music from his head down to his toes.  He tosses his head from side to side, while wildly stomping one foot.  Boston tries to keep up with my dance moves and laughs the whole way through.

I love these boys fiercely and they love me back.  I walk into a room and Isaac’s whole day has been made.  He crawls over to me as fast as his chubby limbs will let him, all the while laughing/crying.  It’s pretty great to be greeted with tears of joy…this doesn’t happen in most rooms I walk into.  Isaac knows how to make his girl swoon.  He would be happy if he could have one paw on me at all times.  Isaac loves to bundle up in my arms and rest his head on my shoulder

Boston loves me intensely.  He gives the biggest kisses and the fiercest hugs and before you know it he’s off!  You’ve gotta take these loves when you can get them with Boston, because he’s always in a hurry.  However there are those moments that he needs a good long hug, like when he’s hurt, or his feelings are hurt, or when he just wakes up, or is ready to go down.  In these moments he may even offer you a few pat pats, or rubs on the arm.  He’s not selfish.   Overall Boston is a Daddy’s boy, but when he wakes up from a nightmare, he always calls out for Momma.

My little boys love each other and light up when the other wakes from a nap.  They’re a little team these two.  Sometimes I can’t wait to see what charming little men they turn out to be, but you won’t see me wishing away these days where they are mine and I am theirs and that’s all that matters.

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Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Dear Boston,

I recounted a special day we had just yesterday on my blog, and I want you to have it in your letters.  
Here it is,

  I watched out the car window as Dane took pictures of Boston in front of the old Pasco train.  I could see Boston pointing out different features on the train and smiling as he ran around it.  They hopped back in the car and as we were about to turn onto the freeway we saw a real train cruising by.  

We chased it.

Driving fast, with Boston’s window rolled down we passed the train up.

Dane don’t go too fast, Boss is loving this. 

We’re gonna pass it up so we can pull over and watch it drive by.

We left the train behind us and pulled onto the dirt road next to the tracks.  Dane and I raced out of the car trying to get Boston out as fast as possible, so he could see the train up close.  We both rushed to Boston’s door (I got there first).  I unbuckled him quickly as Boston laughed shouting,

Hurry Momma! Train!

I yanked Boston out of the car seat and handed him to Dane just in time.  The conductor (noticing two crazy parents and one excited toddler) Looked out his window and gave us a big wave and train whistle.  I’ve never seen Such a thrilled look of awe on this little boys face.  Dane and I wanted to kiss the conductor for waving to Boston. 

Sir Topham Hat Mom! 

I know baby!  

All three of us stood there laughing and cheering.  Dane and I were just as excited as Boston.  When we got back in the car Boston recounted the experience in disbelief,

Holy Cow! I waved at train!  Hiiiii Train!!

On a high from this little adventure we decided to drive by the airport to catch a few planes flying by.  Boston watched the planes go up and down the runway hoping he might see a crash (we didn’t thank goodness) and cheering as the planes took off.  As we left the airport we saw a police car and decided to follow him just to really round out this day of awesomeness.  As we followed  this officer, someone began to speed so the police car’s lights went on and we were wrapped up in another adventure.  It was thrilling (for us, not the poor person getting pulled over).  

Boston hasn’t stopped talking about our adventures earlier today.  What would of been a very normal afternoon turned into a two year old boys dreams. Parenting isn’t always crazy exciting when you’re caught up in the every day business of life, but today we spent an hour adventuring with our two year old son and we might as well of been in Disney land. Down the road Boston might forget this day, but it’s going down as a favorite for Dane and I.  

I love you Boston. I hope we always go  adventuring together.        Love, Momma   

Isaac: 8 months

A little Zekey update is in order.

Dear Isaac,

You are 9 months old in 3 days and you've been officially crawling now for about 2 weeks. This last week you started climbing up on your high knees and are now pulling yourself up on furniture and standing up.

You weigh about 22 lbs and still have the best thighs.  Your still as sweet as can be.  A very mellow, easy to please babe.  You sleep (mostly) through the night.  About 5 every morning you wake up to nurse and then go back to sleep for a few hours.  What a napper you are!  You will take a nap whenever you can get one.  We aim for 2 naps a day, but sometimes it's 1 nap with lots of little cat naps while we're out and about.  The other day you took two 3 hour long naps.  Tired boy!  But every day I try and get you and Boss down at 2 and you both will sleep till 5 and sometimes you till 6!  

You have 3 words in your miniature vocabulary right now.  They are (in order) 

Dadda

Nunna/Nanna

Momma

It took awhile to get to the Momma part, but we got there.  You're a great little eater and nurser and no allergies yet, woohoo!  Ever since you got tubes at about 7 1/2- 8 months, you haven't had an ear infection and are sleeping so much better.  

You and Boston are becoming such good buds.  You make each other laugh and Boston so looks forward to every opportunity to play with you.  

Time to bring out the gates, you'll be walking in no time...ey yi yi. 

I love you. Love,

Momma

25 Words

Dear boys,

Inspired by a talk in Conference today, I contemplated what I would have you both know, If I could only say it in 25 words.  This is what I would tell you both,

I love you with all my heart.
God loves you with all his heart.
Love God with all your heart.
This will bring you joy.

Love,

Momma

Boston's latest and greatest

Dear Boston,

You make me laugh all the time these days.  Here are some of my favorite moments I've observed.

Yesterday at the grocery store you were shouting hello at everyone, per usual, and this was your conversation with one lady.

You:  Hello!
Lady: Oh, hi!
(She continues to walk down the isle)
You:  Ok.  Bye!  See you later!  Peace out!

Later on that same shopping trip we saw a cute, sparkly five year old girl in the check out line.  You were helping me load our groceries onto the belt.

You: Hi!
Little Girl: Hi!
You: I helping Mommy and Zekeyboo
(Little girl just stares at you)
You: Cool shoes! (she had sparkly light up shoes)
Little girl: They light up!  (She begins to tap her feet)
You: Cool.

Looks like you're already figuring out the way to a girls heart...when all else fails, compliment the shoes.

We were just saying morning prayer and this was your final line,
"Bless food to nourish, strengthen, bodies, choo choo train, amen".  Not quite sure how Jesus Christ got replaced with choo choo train, but it seems reasonable for a 2 year old.

Lately you pretend you're on the phone and you say,
"Hello, choo choo train, bye".

You're very polite lately and if I stub my toe, or get hurt in anyway, even if you didn't do it, you say,

"Ohhh, sorry Mommy".  I love it.

You're adorable.  I'm really liking this 2 1/2 year old thing.  I love you.

Love,
Momma

I miss you already

Dear Isaac,

I'm experiencing some growing pains tonight. My time with you as my baby is going by too quickly.  I remember when we brought you home from the hospital Daddy set up a co-sleeper on my side of the bed.  That first night home I laid you in it, and you slept there...for about 5 minutes.  That 6 inches between us was  too much space, so I cozied you right up to me and that's where you stayed for the first 6 weeks of your life.  I decided baby steps were needed for us to get a little better sleep, so I started laying you down in the co sleeper.  You slept ok, but during our night time feedings, I would scoop you up, lay you at my side and we both slept better.  With your little head laid against my chest, the two of us would fall asleep in that same position for hours. When I eventually woke up, I would lay you back in bed, until our next feeding.

About a month ago,  I started putting you in your car seat in our walk-in-closet to sleep.  You like it in that cozy car seat.  In fact you can't fall into a deep sleep in my arms anymore.  You're growing up.  Tonight Daddy and I decided it was time.  We bundled up the co sleeper, opened up space in the closet and officially made it your new bedroom.  I'm lying in bed right now feeling lonely.  You're officially moved out.  You might as well be 18 and living on your own.  I keep a photo of you on my nightstand that's replaced the baby bed.  It was taken a few days after I brought you home.  My hairs disheveled, my shirt twisted up, I'm holding you and Boston close to me. I look so happy, and I was.

I have loved being the Mom to baby Isaac, and I'm having a hard time letting that baby move on. I'm already missing the times that have yet to pass us by.  How silly is that?  It's like  when a friend comes to visit and you miss them before they've even left.

Don't worry though, I have a little experience in this whole "growing up" department.  I won't hold you back, I'll let you grow.  Let you evolve...let you become. And I'll be ok.  I thought I would never stop missing your brother as my baby, but that ache's been replaced with longings for my toddler Boston. So I guess we should all just accept the reality of our situation, (the one in which my delicate heart is held in the small hands of my two little boys ),  I'll love you both to pieces and miss you every step of the way.

Sweet dreams tonight.

Love,
Momma

I love you

Dear Boston,

We have many conversations every day, some good, some bad.  We talk a lot about owies and brother and silly things like monkeys and stinky feet.  A lot of our conversations are about why we don't hit brother, time- outs, and time-out buzzers.  Quite a few, "I'm sorry" conversations get passed around throughout the day, from you to brother, me to you and you back to me, (we're a remorseful little bunch).  With thousands of words being tossed around every day I wonder what sticks with you at the end of it all.  I know what I want you to remember.  If only one thing sticks with you at the end of the day I want you to remember how loved and lovable you are.

Just to make sure you remember this every day I take a moment to let you know.  I get down to your level, take your hand and say,

"Boston, look at Momma".  You look up at me with apprehension, not sure if I'm about to do something really silly, or if you're in trouble again.   When I have your attention I say,

"You are such a sweet boy.  Do you know that?  You are a good boy.  You are a good brother and a good son.  I have so much fun with you and I love you so much.  Heavenly Father loves you too.  Do you know that?  Thank you for being my buddy.  You are the best".

As I say these lines, you tilt your head to your shoulder and a sheepish, silly little grin covers your whole face.  You repeat some of your favorite lines.

"Nice.  Good. Brother.  Love you".

I then have a very similar conversation with brother.  I don't think he knows what I'm saying, but just like you he smiles with an uncontrollable grin and probably thinks something like,

"aahhh, that thing I love so much is making so many nice sounds", Daddy and I have determined we're just thing 1 and thing 2, to our kiddos for the first little while.

So Boss if this letter finds you when your 15, 24, or 85 remember that I still love you.  You're still a good boy.  And your Heavenly Father still loves you too.

Love,

Momma

Wedgie buns

Dear Isaac,

Do you know you're the only baby I've ever known to get a little wedgie in your diaper?  I don't know how you do it, but those squishy buns of yours make it possible.  I'm sorry, you'll really hate this letter when you're older, but I have just loved having a squishy little baby to love on all day and night.  You are such a wonderful. pleasant little baby.  Everyone comments on what a happy little man you are and how stinkin cute you are too.  I couldn't agree more.  :) 

You're quite the Momma's boy and I'm eating it up.  You don't fuss much, but when you do it's cause your hungry, have a diaper, or just can't stand that you're not in my arms.  When that's the case, the minute I pick you up you get a huge grin on your face and are as content as could be. 

Sometimes I say you're like a big dog that thinks he's a tiny puppy.  You're my big boy and getting so heavy these days, but you love being all squished up in the baby Bjorn, close to Mommy's heart.  I love that you're my cuddle bug.  You're smile is the best and you are so chatty.  I think you'll be quite motivated to pick up the English language fast.  Talking seems to be important to you. 

You are my perfect, precious, wonderful baby and a huge part of me never wants you to grow up cause I don't know if I'll ever have another baby as squishy and sweet and delicious as you.   I'm a lucky Momma, you and your brother are the best of the best.

Love,

Momma

Answered Prayers

Dear Boston,

Dear Boston,

I have been praying about you for the last week or so and I feel like today the Lord has answered my prayers.  I've been concerned about you at night.  Whenever it's time for bed we do the same routine.  Read a book, then we rock and I sing you a song.  Once I've sang your three special songs I lay you down in bed.  You seem just fine, until I walk out the door and shut and lock it.  That's when you bawl.  You used to be fine with this routine but for the last few months you cry yourself to sleep every single bed time.  It's been breaking my heart and I've felt like there must be a way to help you get the sleep you need without you crying yourself to sleep every night and nap.

So that's what I've been praying about.  I've been asking the Lord to help comfort you, bring you peace, know that you're safe.  I've been praying that he'll bless me and Daddy with insight to know how best to help you, what to do for you.

Today I believe that answer came.  It may seem obvious, but it took me a while to figure it out.  See we've been shutting and locking your door for a long time now, because you would not stay in  your room from the time you got a big boy bed.  Sometimes we'd find you downstairs with dangerous things and it just made us too nervous, so we shut and locked your door.  But you've been growing and changing so much and you listen and obey a little better than you used to, so for nap time I told you that if you stayed in bed we could keep your door open.  You liked that idea and stayed in bed...for the most part.  When you tried to get out I yelled up that I could see you (on the monitor) and to hop back in and you scammered back in.  You played in bed for an hour and then tried to get out again so I shut and locked your door and you cried.

Tonight you were bawling after Daddy tucked you in and I thought to try the door open again.  So I walked you back to bed and you cried, but I asked you if you'd like the door open or closed and you said open.  I said, "OK" and told you we'd be right next door and kissed your little cheek and walked out.  You've been sound asleep in bed, and haven't made a peep.

It makes me so happy to know you're sleeping peacefully and that you went to bed feeling safe and happy.  I feel really bad when I don't know the best way to handle things for you, especially when it makes you so sad, but I love you so much and am working hard to figure out the right ways to handle things.  I quite clearly don't always have the answers, but I'm so grateful that the Lord does and he's so willing to give them to me if I seek them diligently.

Sleep well Darling.

Love,

Momma