Dear boys,
Inspired by a talk in Conference today, I contemplated what I would have you both know, If I could only say it in 25 words. This is what I would tell you both,
I love you with all my heart.
God loves you with all his heart.
Love God with all your heart.
This will bring you joy.
Love,
Momma
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Boston's latest and greatest
Dear Boston,
You make me laugh all the time these days. Here are some of my favorite moments I've observed.
Yesterday at the grocery store you were shouting hello at everyone, per usual, and this was your conversation with one lady.
You: Hello!
Lady: Oh, hi!
(She continues to walk down the isle)
You: Ok. Bye! See you later! Peace out!
Later on that same shopping trip we saw a cute, sparkly five year old girl in the check out line. You were helping me load our groceries onto the belt.
You: Hi!
Little Girl: Hi!
You: I helping Mommy and Zekeyboo
(Little girl just stares at you)
You: Cool shoes! (she had sparkly light up shoes)
Little girl: They light up! (She begins to tap her feet)
You: Cool.
Looks like you're already figuring out the way to a girls heart...when all else fails, compliment the shoes.
We were just saying morning prayer and this was your final line,
"Bless food to nourish, strengthen, bodies, choo choo train, amen". Not quite sure how Jesus Christ got replaced with choo choo train, but it seems reasonable for a 2 year old.
Lately you pretend you're on the phone and you say,
"Hello, choo choo train, bye".
You're very polite lately and if I stub my toe, or get hurt in anyway, even if you didn't do it, you say,
"Ohhh, sorry Mommy". I love it.
You're adorable. I'm really liking this 2 1/2 year old thing. I love you.
Love,
Momma
You make me laugh all the time these days. Here are some of my favorite moments I've observed.
Yesterday at the grocery store you were shouting hello at everyone, per usual, and this was your conversation with one lady.
You: Hello!
Lady: Oh, hi!
(She continues to walk down the isle)
You: Ok. Bye! See you later! Peace out!
Later on that same shopping trip we saw a cute, sparkly five year old girl in the check out line. You were helping me load our groceries onto the belt.
You: Hi!
Little Girl: Hi!
You: I helping Mommy and Zekeyboo
(Little girl just stares at you)
You: Cool shoes! (she had sparkly light up shoes)
Little girl: They light up! (She begins to tap her feet)
You: Cool.
Looks like you're already figuring out the way to a girls heart...when all else fails, compliment the shoes.
We were just saying morning prayer and this was your final line,
"Bless food to nourish, strengthen, bodies, choo choo train, amen". Not quite sure how Jesus Christ got replaced with choo choo train, but it seems reasonable for a 2 year old.
Lately you pretend you're on the phone and you say,
"Hello, choo choo train, bye".
You're very polite lately and if I stub my toe, or get hurt in anyway, even if you didn't do it, you say,
"Ohhh, sorry Mommy". I love it.
You're adorable. I'm really liking this 2 1/2 year old thing. I love you.
Love,
Momma
Thursday, March 7, 2013
I miss you already
Dear Isaac,
I'm experiencing some growing pains tonight. My time with you as my baby is going by too quickly. I remember when we brought you home from the hospital Daddy set up a co-sleeper on my side of the bed. That first night home I laid you in it, and you slept there...for about 5 minutes. That 6 inches between us was too much space, so I cozied you right up to me and that's where you stayed for the first 6 weeks of your life. I decided baby steps were needed for us to get a little better sleep, so I started laying you down in the co sleeper. You slept ok, but during our night time feedings, I would scoop you up, lay you at my side and we both slept better. With your little head laid against my chest, the two of us would fall asleep in that same position for hours. When I eventually woke up, I would lay you back in bed, until our next feeding.
About a month ago, I started putting you in your car seat in our walk-in-closet to sleep. You like it in that cozy car seat. In fact you can't fall into a deep sleep in my arms anymore. You're growing up. Tonight Daddy and I decided it was time. We bundled up the co sleeper, opened up space in the closet and officially made it your new bedroom. I'm lying in bed right now feeling lonely. You're officially moved out. You might as well be 18 and living on your own. I keep a photo of you on my nightstand that's replaced the baby bed. It was taken a few days after I brought you home. My hairs disheveled, my shirt twisted up, I'm holding you and Boston close to me. I look so happy, and I was.
I have loved being the Mom to baby Isaac, and I'm having a hard time letting that baby move on. I'm already missing the times that have yet to pass us by. How silly is that? It's like when a friend comes to visit and you miss them before they've even left.
Don't worry though, I have a little experience in this whole "growing up" department. I won't hold you back, I'll let you grow. Let you evolve...let you become. And I'll be ok. I thought I would never stop missing your brother as my baby, but that ache's been replaced with longings for my toddler Boston. So I guess we should all just accept the reality of our situation, (the one in which my delicate heart is held in the small hands of my two little boys ), I'll love you both to pieces and miss you every step of the way.
Sweet dreams tonight.
Love,
Momma
I'm experiencing some growing pains tonight. My time with you as my baby is going by too quickly. I remember when we brought you home from the hospital Daddy set up a co-sleeper on my side of the bed. That first night home I laid you in it, and you slept there...for about 5 minutes. That 6 inches between us was too much space, so I cozied you right up to me and that's where you stayed for the first 6 weeks of your life. I decided baby steps were needed for us to get a little better sleep, so I started laying you down in the co sleeper. You slept ok, but during our night time feedings, I would scoop you up, lay you at my side and we both slept better. With your little head laid against my chest, the two of us would fall asleep in that same position for hours. When I eventually woke up, I would lay you back in bed, until our next feeding.
About a month ago, I started putting you in your car seat in our walk-in-closet to sleep. You like it in that cozy car seat. In fact you can't fall into a deep sleep in my arms anymore. You're growing up. Tonight Daddy and I decided it was time. We bundled up the co sleeper, opened up space in the closet and officially made it your new bedroom. I'm lying in bed right now feeling lonely. You're officially moved out. You might as well be 18 and living on your own. I keep a photo of you on my nightstand that's replaced the baby bed. It was taken a few days after I brought you home. My hairs disheveled, my shirt twisted up, I'm holding you and Boston close to me. I look so happy, and I was.
I have loved being the Mom to baby Isaac, and I'm having a hard time letting that baby move on. I'm already missing the times that have yet to pass us by. How silly is that? It's like when a friend comes to visit and you miss them before they've even left.
Don't worry though, I have a little experience in this whole "growing up" department. I won't hold you back, I'll let you grow. Let you evolve...let you become. And I'll be ok. I thought I would never stop missing your brother as my baby, but that ache's been replaced with longings for my toddler Boston. So I guess we should all just accept the reality of our situation, (the one in which my delicate heart is held in the small hands of my two little boys ), I'll love you both to pieces and miss you every step of the way.
Sweet dreams tonight.
Love,
Momma
Friday, January 18, 2013
I love you
Dear Boston,
We have many conversations every day, some good, some bad. We talk a lot about owies and brother and silly things like monkeys and stinky feet. A lot of our conversations are about why we don't hit brother, time- outs, and time-out buzzers. Quite a few, "I'm sorry" conversations get passed around throughout the day, from you to brother, me to you and you back to me, (we're a remorseful little bunch). With thousands of words being tossed around every day I wonder what sticks with you at the end of it all. I know what I want you to remember. If only one thing sticks with you at the end of the day I want you to remember how loved and lovable you are.
Just to make sure you remember this every day I take a moment to let you know. I get down to your level, take your hand and say,
"Boston, look at Momma". You look up at me with apprehension, not sure if I'm about to do something really silly, or if you're in trouble again. When I have your attention I say,
"You are such a sweet boy. Do you know that? You are a good boy. You are a good brother and a good son. I have so much fun with you and I love you so much. Heavenly Father loves you too. Do you know that? Thank you for being my buddy. You are the best".
As I say these lines, you tilt your head to your shoulder and a sheepish, silly little grin covers your whole face. You repeat some of your favorite lines.
"Nice. Good. Brother. Love you".
I then have a very similar conversation with brother. I don't think he knows what I'm saying, but just like you he smiles with an uncontrollable grin and probably thinks something like,
"aahhh, that thing I love so much is making so many nice sounds", Daddy and I have determined we're just thing 1 and thing 2, to our kiddos for the first little while.
So Boss if this letter finds you when your 15, 24, or 85 remember that I still love you. You're still a good boy. And your Heavenly Father still loves you too.
Love,
Momma
We have many conversations every day, some good, some bad. We talk a lot about owies and brother and silly things like monkeys and stinky feet. A lot of our conversations are about why we don't hit brother, time- outs, and time-out buzzers. Quite a few, "I'm sorry" conversations get passed around throughout the day, from you to brother, me to you and you back to me, (we're a remorseful little bunch). With thousands of words being tossed around every day I wonder what sticks with you at the end of it all. I know what I want you to remember. If only one thing sticks with you at the end of the day I want you to remember how loved and lovable you are.
Just to make sure you remember this every day I take a moment to let you know. I get down to your level, take your hand and say,
"Boston, look at Momma". You look up at me with apprehension, not sure if I'm about to do something really silly, or if you're in trouble again. When I have your attention I say,
"You are such a sweet boy. Do you know that? You are a good boy. You are a good brother and a good son. I have so much fun with you and I love you so much. Heavenly Father loves you too. Do you know that? Thank you for being my buddy. You are the best".
As I say these lines, you tilt your head to your shoulder and a sheepish, silly little grin covers your whole face. You repeat some of your favorite lines.
"Nice. Good. Brother. Love you".
I then have a very similar conversation with brother. I don't think he knows what I'm saying, but just like you he smiles with an uncontrollable grin and probably thinks something like,
"aahhh, that thing I love so much is making so many nice sounds", Daddy and I have determined we're just thing 1 and thing 2, to our kiddos for the first little while.
So Boss if this letter finds you when your 15, 24, or 85 remember that I still love you. You're still a good boy. And your Heavenly Father still loves you too.
Love,
Momma
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Wedgie buns
Dear Isaac,
Do you know you're the only baby I've ever known to get a little wedgie in your diaper? I don't know how you do it, but those squishy buns of yours make it possible. I'm sorry, you'll really hate this letter when you're older, but I have just loved having a squishy little baby to love on all day and night. You are such a wonderful. pleasant little baby. Everyone comments on what a happy little man you are and how stinkin cute you are too. I couldn't agree more. :)
You're quite the Momma's boy and I'm eating it up. You don't fuss much, but when you do it's cause your hungry, have a diaper, or just can't stand that you're not in my arms. When that's the case, the minute I pick you up you get a huge grin on your face and are as content as could be.
Sometimes I say you're like a big dog that thinks he's a tiny puppy. You're my big boy and getting so heavy these days, but you love being all squished up in the baby Bjorn, close to Mommy's heart. I love that you're my cuddle bug. You're smile is the best and you are so chatty. I think you'll be quite motivated to pick up the English language fast. Talking seems to be important to you.
You are my perfect, precious, wonderful baby and a huge part of me never wants you to grow up cause I don't know if I'll ever have another baby as squishy and sweet and delicious as you. I'm a lucky Momma, you and your brother are the best of the best.
Love,
Momma
Do you know you're the only baby I've ever known to get a little wedgie in your diaper? I don't know how you do it, but those squishy buns of yours make it possible. I'm sorry, you'll really hate this letter when you're older, but I have just loved having a squishy little baby to love on all day and night. You are such a wonderful. pleasant little baby. Everyone comments on what a happy little man you are and how stinkin cute you are too. I couldn't agree more. :)
You're quite the Momma's boy and I'm eating it up. You don't fuss much, but when you do it's cause your hungry, have a diaper, or just can't stand that you're not in my arms. When that's the case, the minute I pick you up you get a huge grin on your face and are as content as could be.
Sometimes I say you're like a big dog that thinks he's a tiny puppy. You're my big boy and getting so heavy these days, but you love being all squished up in the baby Bjorn, close to Mommy's heart. I love that you're my cuddle bug. You're smile is the best and you are so chatty. I think you'll be quite motivated to pick up the English language fast. Talking seems to be important to you.
You are my perfect, precious, wonderful baby and a huge part of me never wants you to grow up cause I don't know if I'll ever have another baby as squishy and sweet and delicious as you. I'm a lucky Momma, you and your brother are the best of the best.
Love,
Momma
Answered Prayers
Dear Boston,
Dear Boston,
I have been praying about you for the last week or so and I feel like today the Lord has answered my prayers. I've been concerned about you at night. Whenever it's time for bed we do the same routine. Read a book, then we rock and I sing you a song. Once I've sang your three special songs I lay you down in bed. You seem just fine, until I walk out the door and shut and lock it. That's when you bawl. You used to be fine with this routine but for the last few months you cry yourself to sleep every single bed time. It's been breaking my heart and I've felt like there must be a way to help you get the sleep you need without you crying yourself to sleep every night and nap.
So that's what I've been praying about. I've been asking the Lord to help comfort you, bring you peace, know that you're safe. I've been praying that he'll bless me and Daddy with insight to know how best to help you, what to do for you.
Today I believe that answer came. It may seem obvious, but it took me a while to figure it out. See we've been shutting and locking your door for a long time now, because you would not stay in your room from the time you got a big boy bed. Sometimes we'd find you downstairs with dangerous things and it just made us too nervous, so we shut and locked your door. But you've been growing and changing so much and you listen and obey a little better than you used to, so for nap time I told you that if you stayed in bed we could keep your door open. You liked that idea and stayed in bed...for the most part. When you tried to get out I yelled up that I could see you (on the monitor) and to hop back in and you scammered back in. You played in bed for an hour and then tried to get out again so I shut and locked your door and you cried.
Tonight you were bawling after Daddy tucked you in and I thought to try the door open again. So I walked you back to bed and you cried, but I asked you if you'd like the door open or closed and you said open. I said, "OK" and told you we'd be right next door and kissed your little cheek and walked out. You've been sound asleep in bed, and haven't made a peep.
It makes me so happy to know you're sleeping peacefully and that you went to bed feeling safe and happy. I feel really bad when I don't know the best way to handle things for you, especially when it makes you so sad, but I love you so much and am working hard to figure out the right ways to handle things. I quite clearly don't always have the answers, but I'm so grateful that the Lord does and he's so willing to give them to me if I seek them diligently.
Sleep well Darling.
Love,
Momma
Dear Boston,
I have been praying about you for the last week or so and I feel like today the Lord has answered my prayers. I've been concerned about you at night. Whenever it's time for bed we do the same routine. Read a book, then we rock and I sing you a song. Once I've sang your three special songs I lay you down in bed. You seem just fine, until I walk out the door and shut and lock it. That's when you bawl. You used to be fine with this routine but for the last few months you cry yourself to sleep every single bed time. It's been breaking my heart and I've felt like there must be a way to help you get the sleep you need without you crying yourself to sleep every night and nap.
So that's what I've been praying about. I've been asking the Lord to help comfort you, bring you peace, know that you're safe. I've been praying that he'll bless me and Daddy with insight to know how best to help you, what to do for you.
Today I believe that answer came. It may seem obvious, but it took me a while to figure it out. See we've been shutting and locking your door for a long time now, because you would not stay in your room from the time you got a big boy bed. Sometimes we'd find you downstairs with dangerous things and it just made us too nervous, so we shut and locked your door. But you've been growing and changing so much and you listen and obey a little better than you used to, so for nap time I told you that if you stayed in bed we could keep your door open. You liked that idea and stayed in bed...for the most part. When you tried to get out I yelled up that I could see you (on the monitor) and to hop back in and you scammered back in. You played in bed for an hour and then tried to get out again so I shut and locked your door and you cried.
Tonight you were bawling after Daddy tucked you in and I thought to try the door open again. So I walked you back to bed and you cried, but I asked you if you'd like the door open or closed and you said open. I said, "OK" and told you we'd be right next door and kissed your little cheek and walked out. You've been sound asleep in bed, and haven't made a peep.
It makes me so happy to know you're sleeping peacefully and that you went to bed feeling safe and happy. I feel really bad when I don't know the best way to handle things for you, especially when it makes you so sad, but I love you so much and am working hard to figure out the right ways to handle things. I quite clearly don't always have the answers, but I'm so grateful that the Lord does and he's so willing to give them to me if I seek them diligently.
Sleep well Darling.
Love,
Momma
Friday, December 14, 2012
My boys
Dear Babies of mine,
Something heart breaking happened today. Too heartbreaking to write about. It didn't happen to our family personally but me and probably every parent across the country are shedding tears and feeling heart broken over it. I feel inclined to hold you both so tight and not let go. Never let you out of my sight and always keep you close to my heart. But I can't wake either of you up and I'll have to let the both of you go someday...I only hope that day doesn't come sooner than I'm ready for. So tonight, while you are both still under my roof, under my protection, safe and sound I want to write you a letter and just tell you a few scattered, yet seemingly important things that I want you to know.
You are both such good boys. Your innocence and goodness just permeates our home and makes me and your Dad better people.
A loving Heavenly Father created you.
You were both so wanted by your Dad and I before you came here...that hasn't changed. :)
You'll spend all your lives learning and growing, but it's now, as children that you'll do the most teaching.
The two of you are so loved.
Your parents love each other so much.
You both are incredibly happy little men.
Boston you are so smart. Daddy and I are amazed at how quickly you learn new things and you try so hard. Your confidence is something I admire and aspire to. It's maybe my favorite thing about you. You're silly. That's probably my second favorite. I love when you tell me to, "Come on Mom" in your big boy voice and I appreciate your pats on the back followed by, "Good job Mom". I adore you.
I just simply adore you.
Isaac, I've never known a more content person. You're so happy just to be. You teach me how to truly love. The way you look at me warms my whole soul. You spent a week with a fever and were only content if you were in my arms or sleeping next to my body. The moment I walked away, you knew and needed me back. My body gives you 100% of the nutrients you need to grow...to be alive and I just love being needed that way. You perfectly forgive offenses and have endless love to give, through your cuddles and smiles. I have so much to learn from you. I think you just might be an old soul. Believe it or not I need you just as much as you need me. I needed to have you when I did and I needed the incredible experience I had in getting you here. You've given me hope for many more babies to come. :)
I love you sweet babies. In all of eternity this is my one chance to know you as little children. My one chance to experience your "firsts". I treasure this time so much and will not wish it away for one second...not even on the sleepless nights.. cause at least they're spent with one of you.
Love,
Momma
Something heart breaking happened today. Too heartbreaking to write about. It didn't happen to our family personally but me and probably every parent across the country are shedding tears and feeling heart broken over it. I feel inclined to hold you both so tight and not let go. Never let you out of my sight and always keep you close to my heart. But I can't wake either of you up and I'll have to let the both of you go someday...I only hope that day doesn't come sooner than I'm ready for. So tonight, while you are both still under my roof, under my protection, safe and sound I want to write you a letter and just tell you a few scattered, yet seemingly important things that I want you to know.
You are both such good boys. Your innocence and goodness just permeates our home and makes me and your Dad better people.
A loving Heavenly Father created you.
You were both so wanted by your Dad and I before you came here...that hasn't changed. :)
You'll spend all your lives learning and growing, but it's now, as children that you'll do the most teaching.
The two of you are so loved.
Your parents love each other so much.
You both are incredibly happy little men.
Boston you are so smart. Daddy and I are amazed at how quickly you learn new things and you try so hard. Your confidence is something I admire and aspire to. It's maybe my favorite thing about you. You're silly. That's probably my second favorite. I love when you tell me to, "Come on Mom" in your big boy voice and I appreciate your pats on the back followed by, "Good job Mom". I adore you.
I just simply adore you.
Isaac, I've never known a more content person. You're so happy just to be. You teach me how to truly love. The way you look at me warms my whole soul. You spent a week with a fever and were only content if you were in my arms or sleeping next to my body. The moment I walked away, you knew and needed me back. My body gives you 100% of the nutrients you need to grow...to be alive and I just love being needed that way. You perfectly forgive offenses and have endless love to give, through your cuddles and smiles. I have so much to learn from you. I think you just might be an old soul. Believe it or not I need you just as much as you need me. I needed to have you when I did and I needed the incredible experience I had in getting you here. You've given me hope for many more babies to come. :)
I love you sweet babies. In all of eternity this is my one chance to know you as little children. My one chance to experience your "firsts". I treasure this time so much and will not wish it away for one second...not even on the sleepless nights.. cause at least they're spent with one of you.
Love,
Momma
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