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Wednesday, October 11, 2017

7 years of Boston

Dear Boston,

Your birthday was almost a month ago, and I realized I never wrote you your letter!  And I have so much to write about you!  Oh Boston,  I could not love you more kid.  5 and 6 were two of my VERY favorite years with you!  I can't WAIT To see what year 7 brings.  You're one of my favorite people to laugh and talk with.  Still, you're the best big brother in the world.  Always caring about your siblings safety and happiness.  If anyone messes with Isaac?  They better WATCH out.  You are all over that.  A kid at a park bumped Isaac with the swings and I had to hold you and Isaac, because you were both crying.  You don't like to see your siblings sad or hurt.  You did AMAZING in Kindergarten this last year.  You showed what a leader you are, and made tons and tons of friends.  You were the first in your class to make it to the Hall of Fame!  Meaning you were on perfect behavior for 5 days!  That's quite the accomplishment!  Soccer and baseball were really fun for you this year.  We were BUSY busy.  You got to play in Daddy's baseball league, on the same fields, with some of the same coaches that Dad had! 

You've become an excellent reader and every night we read books together.  I read a page.  You read a page.  We still love to cook, jump, and play catch together.  Dad is still your favorite person on the planet, but me and the rest of the family come in a close second. :)  We get a kick out of the girls (whom we still refer to as babies!)  Football has become your favorite sport these days.  You play almost every morning at school drop off.  You're now in first grade and doing amazing!  We discovered this year just how powerful your mind is.  You were starting to feel down about the school days feeling long, and you were crying when you had to go to school, so we talked about how our thoughts make literal grooves in our brains, and it makes it easier to go down certain thought paths the more we have them.  So we started saying we need to build a new racetrack.  So instead of sending your car down the, "school is so long, I hate school" race track, we started building a new one by telling ourselves sentences like, "I enjoy school.  at school I get to see my friends.  I always get to see my mom at the end of the day".  I tricked you into building your new racetrack by telling you a story about you and Isaac switching lives for a day, and as I told the story I would ask you about what Isaac would do at school, what would his favorite parts of the day be etc..." then half way through the story you said, "Hey!  You're tricking me!  You put new grooves in my brain!"  I said I didn't know what you were talking about, but you said, "Well, it's working!"  You asked me if I would keep tricking you every night, and I said that I would continue to help you build that race track until you could do it on your own.  And ever since that night, you have done GREAT and not had one hard day at school!  You even say many of your days feel short! That's amazing Boston!  Your mind is so powerful.  It was a good example to me of how powerful our minds are.  Your self discipline and determination astound me. 

Your best friends these days are Brogan, Charlie, and Dallin.  :)  You love playing with our neighbor Braxton too.  Your birthday party was fun and crazy this year!  We celebrated at the Gym with 17 friends!  All boys!  We ate pizza and popcorn, had ice cream, opened presents, played flag football, and played on a blowup obstacle course.  It was the loudest mini frat party I've ever been to. ;)  At one point the boys were all shouting, "CHUG CHUG CHUG!" as one kid guzzled his water bottle.  Every other night (on my tuck in turns) I sing you your songs "To make you feel my love", "I will love you" and "Fix you".  You still love those songs...and your cous cous. :)  We love you so much Boston.  We love your smile and your laugh.  We love all of your fun conversations, and deep questions.  I love talking about happy things, and all the hard things too.  You're one of my favorite people, and ALWAYS ALWAYS will be.  It's been pure joy watching you grow up into this cool, friendly, good, kind, awesome kid. 

Happy birthday Boston!!! 

Love,
Mama

Friday, August 18, 2017

Happy 5th Birthday Isaac

Dear Zekeyboo,

I really can't believe I'm writing your 5th Birthday letter.  I still see you as my little guy, but you're becoming a big boy!  I see it more every day.  You have the biggest imagination and are constantly lost in that awesome mind of yours.  You're a creative soul, constantly coloring, drawing, or playing pretend.  Hulk Smash and Kylo ren are two of your favorites to dress up as.  Every morning you like to tell me about your dreams from the night before in great detail. Reading books is still a favorite past time.  This year I've started letting you boys color on your walls and I have LOVED seeing what comes out of your imagination.  You drew a Pirate that you named whiskers, and the coolest water gun. When it comes to fashion, you have a definite preference and style.  On your birthday you had very specific ideas about looking like a rock star, and wearing jeans, a rock t shirt, and a leather jacket.  I made sure you felt and looked like a rock star on your big day.

As a brother you are kind and caring.  You would do anything for your sisters and I love seeing you shine in your big brother role.  About a month ago you learned to ride your bike without training wheels, so for your birthday we got you a new big boy bike and you've taken off!  You're so good on your bike.  You picked it up so fast.  Right now you are wearing striped pj bottoms, and a plaid, Christmas, button up shirt.  You're playing a game with Boston and the girls, where you boys wrap the girls in blankets, and pull them across the floor. ha!

Last year for Preschool I did a co op with other Moms, but this year, I am teaching you and 3 other little boys here at our house.  I rearranged the craft room to become the preschool room, and when you walked in to see the transformation you said,

Mom!  Did you do all this for me??
I said of course I did and that I wanted you to have the best Pre-K year ever, and then you gave me a giant hug and said,

 I wouldn't want a different Mom!
Which is a phrase typically reserved for Dad. :)  You have a tender heart, and under the right circumstances eat up snuggles and loves from me, and under any circumstance will eat up loves from Dad.  Every day you make all of us laugh, and Dad and I LOVE hearing the funny thoughts and jokes you come up with.  This year, the over all feeling that I have about you is this,

You're capable of accomplishing whatever you want.  I see you doing really well in school when the time comes, and making friends, exploring your imagination, and developing your talents even more.
I can't wait to see what we learn about you this year Zeke!

I wouldn't want a different Zekey,
Love, Mama.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Letter To Remi and Rowan: Potty training

Dear girls,

I'm sorry I'm writing a joint letter.  I usually try to write all my kids separate, but this is an experience the three of us share, so a joint letter it is.  :)  We started potty training a couple weeks ago and you have both done amazing!  We've had some accidents here and there but I've been so grateful how quickly and confidently you both picked it up!

Rowan you like to do everything on your own, no help from Mom.  But you do like me to be right there near, talking to you, cheering you on, or having one of your baby dolls cheer you on. :)
Remi you like Mommy to stay right close, hugging you, or holding your little hips, and we talk and chat about what a big girl you are, or maybe you stroke my hair and tell me that you love me.

I meant to write this letter a few days ago, but time got away from me, and then today we had a scary experience with Rowy, and my heart is a little tender, so I decided to write this letter.
I just wanted you girls to know that yes, the work of a Mom is often difficult, unpleasant, and discouraging, but some of my sweetest moments with you children, some of our most bonding times are in the thick of it all.  Potty training is high on my list of things I DO NOT like doing as a Mom, but over the last few weeks, the 3 of us have literally spent hours together, looking each other in the eyes, talking and chatting, and getting special one on one time that is rarer than I would like.  It's been precious and sweet and it's imprinted on my heart.

Remi when you were little little and got RSV, it was the WORST.  I hated you being so sick.  I was stressed with twin babies, and a toddler and a 4 year old, but for 3 days straight I carried you on my chest, you slept and napped on my chest, and even though I wasn't on much sleep, I loved having a reason to make holding you my top priority over all else.
Rowan, you waited patiently for a week, until Remi got better, before you caught RSV too, and then I had a reason to make you my top priority, and cuddle and hold you close for days.  I can still remember my tender feelings toward you both during those sick weeks and I hold that feeling close.

Rowan, we had a very scary moment with you in the pool today.  You jumped in without your floaty, I didn't see you jump in and Haley pulled you out of the water, coughing and throwing up.  It was really scary, and I feel VERY tender toward you at the moment.  You continued to throw up, so I drove you to the ER, and as I was driving, crying and praying that Heavenly Father would protect you, I remembered the last time I had taken this same drive, 2 1/2 years ago to the same ER, when  I couldn't feel you move in my tummy for a day.  I was terrified that you had passed away, and I begged Heavenly Father to keep you safe.  You were thankfully fine, and just chilling out, but I do not forget the fear and love and desperation I felt for you.

Experiences that remind us just how much we love our children, are usually not fun, often fear filled, and we typically do not want to experience them again, but I do hold on to the memory of how tender my heart felt in those moments, and I'm reminded that I love you kids and your Dad more than anything in the whole world.  Even when we're potty training, even when you throw food all over the floor, even when you're being a stinker, I love being your Mom.

Girls, I am so so grateful we belong to each other.  

I love you,
Mama.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Letter to Isaac

1/10/17

Dear Isaac,

I'm lying in bed, with you, sandwiched between me and your brother.  Daddy's out of town and I've always pulled Boston into bed with me when he leaves, but the last few trips I've pulled you in too.  You're getting older bud.  More privileges, more responsibilities, more siblings, more everything.  There are only 4 of you so technically we don't have a middle child. But, because your youngest siblings are twins I feel like you're our middle.  Boston's the oldest, the twins are the youngest.

And as my middle child, tonight, I just felt the strong urge to let you know that you matter.  I see you.  I love you.  I notice you.  I respect every little thing that makes you you.  I hope you never feel lost in the shuffle.  I hope you always know how important you are to the very foundation of our family.  Without an Isaac our family wouldn't be nearly as fun, and silly, and thoughtful.  Your brother would be missing his best friend.  Your sisters would miss you teaching them everything you know. Your Dad would miss the love and hugs you pour out on him (you fill his cup with so much love) And I would miss all of the beautifully colored pictures, completed puzzles strewn about the house, and imaginative conversations we have together.

At this very young age what I see in you is,
tenderness.
kindness.
curiousity
IMAGINATION.
patience.  So much patience.
Humor.
Strength.
Independence.
Charm.
loyalty.
A forgiving heart.
A caring friend.
An engineering mind.

At only 4 years old, there are so many more layers of Zekey to unravel and get to know and I can't wait for all of it.

I just wanted you to know it's a pure joy raising you.  I love you beyond.

Love,
Momma



Thursday, January 5, 2017

Letter to Rowan

Dear Rowy,

Happy birthday darling girl!  You're two!!!  And you know it!  You are filling in those britches a little more every day.  Mama threw you a tea party that we invited Stella, Abby, and Pippa to, and you and Rmei were quite the little ladies. I wanted you to understand last night that your birthday was today, so I told you that I'd be giving you balloons.  You knew to be excited about that and the rest of the afternoon and morning you behaved like a lady.  While I put braids in your hair you sat perfectly still and when I pulled out your new Freshly Picked moccasins , you promptly sat on your bum to put them on.  You and sister wished eachother multiple happy birthdays and showed off your pretty hair.

 Things I don't want  to forget about you at two:
You have developed a very spicey side.  Full of stubborn, independent goodness.
You love to climb on the counters and the dresser in your bedroom, and somehow you convince sister to join you.
You have a deep belly laugh I can't get enough of.
You love your brothers and will often ask Boston to comfort you.
You're a Mama's girl.
You love your blankie.
When Daddy comes home you shout, "Dada!!!"
You and sister can't say Remi so you both call each other Rowy.  But you do answer to the correct names.
I love hearing you say,
"dop it!" (stop it)
"ok Mama"
"Gank ooo babies" (Thank you baby).
"BACK" (be right back)

I love you and your extra silly little nature so much. You're beautiful and smart and just delightful  tlittle Row!  We love you so so much!

Love,
Mama

Letter To Remington

Dear Remi,

Happy Birthday baby doll!!!  You're two!  How did this happen?  You've grown so so fast.  You definitely keep me on my toes!  We had a really fun day today.  The brothers and Bonkie got you out of bed and we lit candles on your breakfast muffin.  Then we had a tea party with your 3 dear friends, Pippa, Stella, and Abby.  It was quite an elegant affair for a group of 2 and 3 year old girls.

Things I want to remember about you:
You give the sweetest loves to me and Daddy.  Daddy GOBBLES them up.
You're a Mama's girl.
You love Rowan and will put her first if she's sad.  You won't go to bed without her, or stay up if she's in bed.  You MUST be together. You also won't accept a treat without one for Rowan too. :)
You're talking lots with new words and sentences every day.  Right now we love hearing,
"I don't yike it" (I don't like it)
"I wuv you Mama"
"Mama.  Weed."  (Mama. Read.)
"Bosty"
"I SACK" (Isaac)
You switch with Rowan, but lately you have been the little mother of you two.

Reading at night together from Anne Of Green Gables, Little Princess, and Little Women
Sucking your thumb.
I love your smile when you're feeling pretty.
I love your strut when you're feeling big.
I love your growl when you're feeling angry or silly or ferocious.
I love the way you give me Beijos and grab my face tight and look back at me, then dive in for big kisses and huggies.

I love you so much.  You're beautiful and funny and smart and kind and our whole family could not love you more!

Happy Birthday baby girl!

Love,
Mama

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Letter To Boston: 6 years!

Dear Bosty,

I don't call you Bosty much anymore, but something about opening up this oldie but a goodie blog, and writing you a letter, makes me feel like this letter should be written to my Bosty. :)

5 was a great year for you.  You grew so much.  We shared our last year of preschool together with Isaac and Charlie too.  We had so much fun in preschool.  I will always treasure those memories with you.  You started kindergarten about 3 weeks ago!  It's had some big ups and some downs. There's a color system in your class, and you get to be on a certain color based on your behavior, so you can travel from the very bottom, red, to the very top, pink based on your choices.  We had the nicest talk in your rocking chair tonight and part of it was about this color system.  You like the colors.  You like the challenge and knowing where you're at and trying to reach big color goals.

Tonight I told you that you are not your color and I asked if you knew that.  You said you did, and that if you're on red, you're not a red boy, etc... I asked if you knew what color you are no matter what.  And you smiled and I said, "Pink!"  (That's the highest color you can reach).  I told you that no matter what you are a pink boy.  We are all pink people!  We came here with an unchangeable worth because we are children of Heavenly Father and that makes us Kings and Queens.  I said that we can choose to match our choices to who we are, but we are always pink, even when making a red choice.  Then we talked about my day and I said I thought I probably had a yellow Mom day (yellow is a stop and think about it color) and you said you think I had a red day (that's go to the Principles office).  haha!  I told you I'm gonna aim for a good solid purple tomorrow (the color just below pink.  Let's not set myself up for failure!) and you said you were gonna aim for pink.

We talked and talked about school, and your feelings, and your friends, and your thoughts and my thoughts, and it was honestly one of the nicest conversations I've had with anyone in a long time.  I just love the person that you are.  I love being apart of your life.  I love sharing all of these firsts with you.  This whole 6 year old in school business has pulled at my heart strings in a big way.  I feel everything for you in the biggest ways.  I miss you big.  I feel sad for you big.  I'm proud of you big. I love you big!  So big.   You're awesome Boston.  I'm so glad you're mine.

Love,
Momma.