Boston's 5th Birthday

Happy Birthday Boston!  You are 5 years old!  I remember rocking you in your room, just a few weeks old, feeling scared of this new life together and feeling as in love as I'd ever felt.  Five years later, I'm still scared and so so much more in love.  How is this possible? At some poing my heart will surely explode.  Last night Dad and I stayed up talking through tears about you.  Where the Wild things are summed up my feelings last night perfectly.

Please don't go.  I'll eat you up I love you so.

How do you keep getting older so fast?  Are there still 365 days in a year?  I'm not so sure anymore. 

At 5 years old you are charming and curious and full of life.  Having 3 little siblings has brought out the very best of you.  For example you got hurt last night while grabbing me diapers and wipes in the sisters room while they slept, but knowing you needed to be quiet, you ran swiftly from the room, without making a sound, until you reached my bed and burst into tears as the scrape on your leg bled.  You'll hold a sister patiently through tears and screams because you love her so.  Isaac is your best friend and you'd do anything for him.  Dad remains your very best friend and we wouldn't have it any other way.  Reading, running, riding your bike, playing soccer, swinging and riding the wiggle bike are some of your favorites.  

It's quite possible you're on your way to being a vegetarian.  If you know the food has come from an animal, you won't eat it.  Preschool is your favorite and you can't WAIT for Kindergarten next year.

This day has been fun filled with presents and pancakes in the morning, a soccer game, gemstone digging and puzzle building in the afternoon and The Trampoline house and Mcdonalds this evening.  Last night you whispered to Dad as he tucked you in, 

Don't forget my decorations.

I'm pretty sure this day has lived up to your big birthday imagination.  We'll rock out at your party tomorrow.  

You're a good boy Boston Yancey.  

We love you with all our hearts,

Love, Momma.  

Letter to Isaac: 3 years

Dear Isaac,

We just celebrated 3 years of life with you!  In my opinion every family needs an Isaac.  You make everyone you meet smile and laugh.  You have a BIG personality that comes out in your walk, the way you speak in a sing song tone and in your larger than life facial expressions.  Your whole little body exudes a care free silliness and joy that can't help but be shared.

You soak up cuddles and loves and are always up to sit on a lap while you play.  You're extremely easy going and make friends fast.

Everyone loves Isaac. 

There's another equally lovable side to you that is fierce and quiet and curious.  From a young age you learned to stand up for yourself and if someone (AKA Boston) crosses you, you're quick to fight back. Even if that means striking a blow then running like mad back to safety (AKA Mom).  You enjoy time alone and playing by yourself.  You're so curious and often wander off quietly to go discover the world alone, hence getting lost 3 different times! 

You enjoy puzzles (and are really good at them), preschool, reading and cars.  It's been a joy watching you grow and become the adorable, fierce, tender, curious, silly boy that we all adore.  

Favorite Isaac sentences as of late:

"What da heck on earf"

"Heavly Fader.  It's a prayer..."

I love you Isaac! 

Love,

Momma 

The Middle: A letter to Isaac

Dear Isaac,

I've been thinking about you lately and the place you hold in our family.  We just all adore you.  You've made a huge impact on our family dynamic.  You make everything sillier, wilder, more unpredictable and so much funnier.  You make us all laugh and laugh.  You're outgoing and playful and can jump right into any group, no matter the age, and fit right in.  You also really enjoy time to yourself.  Time to wander, time to build puzzles, or time to play with your trains, all alone.  I love how sweet and tender you can be.  I love how cuddly you are.  You're always asking Mommy to "carry".

 I.  Love.  Carrying.  you.

I wish I could do it more.  You love books and are so fun to read to.  You ask great questions and laugh out loud.  You have lots of plans and NO MATTER WHAT you WILL accomplish them.  You're also very into using polite language and I find it so charming.  For example you took off your underwear and headed upstairs.  I could tell you were off to go potty in a corner.  I told you to use the toilet and you responded,

No thank you.

You came at an important time in our family.  You're our only child that knows what it's like to have an older sibling and younger.  Your age is right in the middle of everyone.  You'll have times when you go to school with just your sisters and then go to school with just your brother.  Often you and Boss will have the same opportunities and you'll know what it's like to be one of the big kids in the family.  Sometimes you'll have to wait until you're a little older to take off with Boston and in those moments you'll know what it's like to feel small.  This unique experience in our family will help you to be empathetic and understanding.  You'll relate to all of your siblings.  I can see you being the glue of our little pack.  :) You came to this earth in the most peaceful way, bringing with you all the love and joy in the world.

You're a little light for all of us.   The timing in which you arrived matters.  The way you arrived matters.  Your place in our family matters.  And we're all blessed for it.

Isaac,  I'll eat you up I love you so.

Love, Momma

Blessing day: Rowan Adele

Dear Rowan,

March 1st was a special day for you.  It was a day filled with love and joy.  I found you a dress that felt so very you.  Beautiful, timeless and so very sweet.  You wore your signature purple polish on your toesies and a precious bow made by a dear friend in your hair.

You were bathed on Sunday morning with all the love and care of a strong Daddy.  I dressed you and nursed you.  Boston held you at church while you waited to be blessed.  You and sister were showered with kisses and hugs from your adoring brothers.  Daddy stood in a circle with dear friends, and your Papa and Uncles.  You quietly listened as Daddy gave you a beautiful blessing.

Blessed with obedience and the courage to stand up for what is right when challenged.
Blessed to be best friends with your sister.
Blessed to be a force for good in the World along with your siblings.

You were blessed with things that felt so perfectly you.  Even from the womb you've been blessed with a peaceful spirit and I think this will be a great strength to your sister and our family.

 Nana recorded your blessings and discovered that you were both blessed with exactly 19 individual blessings.  A testament of Heavenly Father's perfect love for you and your sister.

We love you, our tender little girl.

Momma and Daddy

Blessing day: Remington Jane

Dear Remi,

March 1st was a special day for you.  It was filled with so much love.  I found the prettiest white dresses for you and sister. Simple yet special.  Classic and dainty. This dress was meant for you.  I spent the days leading up to the blessing deciding between tights or socks, pink or white, maybe grey?  In the end I decide painted toesies were just right.  We got pedicures with Tia Bekie the day before.  I chose a pretty pink polish for you.  I spent most of Saturday running errands.  Things like buying croissants and chicken and all the extras to have a special lunch with family for Sunday afternoon.

Late Saturday evening, just before bed Lindsay came over and made each of you a precious bow to wear.  I ran around the house laying out everyone's clothes and we were ready for the day.
Daddy spent Saturday fasting for inspiration.

Sunday morning Daddy bathed you and talked with you.  We had hymns playing during your bath and although there was chaos all around, Daddy and you were in your own little world.

Your blessing was sweet and just right for you.  Your daddy and uncles and Papa and Daddy's close friends surrounded you as you were blessed with the sweetest things.

Confidence.  A strong spirit.  Hundreds of thousands of blessings waiting for you.  All the things I felt for you as you fought to grow strong in my belly.  You were first to be born  and first to be blessed.

We love you darling girl.

Momma and Daddy

Dear Boston

Dear Boston,

Two weeks ago we had our baby girls.  They finally arrived!  We were starting to feel a little impatient with all the ups and downs of that pregnancy.  In your words,  "They're coming, they're not coming, they're coming, they're not coming, they're coming..."  That sums up our feelings on the twins arrival pretty well.

This pregnancy was a hard one on all of us.  I was put on modified bed rest at 20 something weeks and then strict bedrest at 30 something.  This was really hard for you boys to have your very active Mom be completely non active.  No more scooping you up, no more running around, no more getting down on my hands and knees and no more putting you down for bed.  This was really sad for all of us.  After the babies arrived there was still some adjusting for all of us to do.  I was barely surviving those first couple days home and on days 3, 4 and 5 I could barely keep from crying all the time.

I tried to not cry in front of you ever, but you are very in tune to how I'm feeling and you would catch tears in my eyes often.  I could tell it scared you to see me sad and sometimes you would start to cry when you'd ask, "Mommy, are you sad?"

I didn't know what to do because I couldn't help that tears were going to literally fall out of my eyes no matter what.  I could keep from sobbing, but I couldn't always keep the tears away completely.  So I told you that often times when Mommy's have a baby they cry for a couple days and they cry for all different reasons.  We talked about crying when we're happy, or touched.  We talked about how I cry sometimes if I feel sad or overwhelmed and we even talked about crying because we're laughing so hard.  I told you it's perfectly normal and it's ok.  It's even ok if Mommy feels sad sometimes, It won't last.

After discussing why we cry, I told you that we can always try to make ourselves feel better.  So we came up with a silly face we could do whenever we're feeling sad, that will make us laugh and help us feel better.  So for those first few days home, whenever those sad unexplained, baby blues feelings would creep up on me, I would stick my tongue out, cross my eyes, look at you and you'd do the same.  Then we would both bust up in genuine laughter.  One of those days you fell when riding your bike and instead of crying you looked at me and did your silly face.  We laughed again.

Week two of babies being home has gotten so much easier.  I can tell you feel safe and normal again and the tears every day have stopped, so we've had less need for the silly face, but tonight, out of the blue you did that silly little face again and it warmed my heart.  I realized that will be one of those bittersweet memories for me.  I'll remember my oldest son and what a trooper he was when his life was getting flipped upside down for months on end.  I'll remember your desire to be happy and joyful as much as possible.  I'll remember our conversations about it being ok to be sad and get a good cry out and I'll remember that we both tried our very best to lift each other's burdens.

I love you Boston.  I appreciate you.  I'm so glad I get to share this adventure with you.

Love,

Momma