Thursday, June 22, 2017

Letter To Remi and Rowan: Potty training

Dear girls,

I'm sorry I'm writing a joint letter.  I usually try to write all my kids separate, but this is an experience the three of us share, so a joint letter it is.  :)  We started potty training a couple weeks ago and you have both done amazing!  We've had some accidents here and there but I've been so grateful how quickly and confidently you both picked it up!

Rowan you like to do everything on your own, no help from Mom.  But you do like me to be right there near, talking to you, cheering you on, or having one of your baby dolls cheer you on. :)
Remi you like Mommy to stay right close, hugging you, or holding your little hips, and we talk and chat about what a big girl you are, or maybe you stroke my hair and tell me that you love me.

I meant to write this letter a few days ago, but time got away from me, and then today we had a scary experience with Rowy, and my heart is a little tender, so I decided to write this letter.
I just wanted you girls to know that yes, the work of a Mom is often difficult, unpleasant, and discouraging, but some of my sweetest moments with you children, some of our most bonding times are in the thick of it all.  Potty training is high on my list of things I DO NOT like doing as a Mom, but over the last few weeks, the 3 of us have literally spent hours together, looking each other in the eyes, talking and chatting, and getting special one on one time that is rarer than I would like.  It's been precious and sweet and it's imprinted on my heart.

Remi when you were little little and got RSV, it was the WORST.  I hated you being so sick.  I was stressed with twin babies, and a toddler and a 4 year old, but for 3 days straight I carried you on my chest, you slept and napped on my chest, and even though I wasn't on much sleep, I loved having a reason to make holding you my top priority over all else.
Rowan, you waited patiently for a week, until Remi got better, before you caught RSV too, and then I had a reason to make you my top priority, and cuddle and hold you close for days.  I can still remember my tender feelings toward you both during those sick weeks and I hold that feeling close.

Rowan, we had a very scary moment with you in the pool today.  You jumped in without your floaty, I didn't see you jump in and Haley pulled you out of the water, coughing and throwing up.  It was really scary, and I feel VERY tender toward you at the moment.  You continued to throw up, so I drove you to the ER, and as I was driving, crying and praying that Heavenly Father would protect you, I remembered the last time I had taken this same drive, 2 1/2 years ago to the same ER, when  I couldn't feel you move in my tummy for a day.  I was terrified that you had passed away, and I begged Heavenly Father to keep you safe.  You were thankfully fine, and just chilling out, but I do not forget the fear and love and desperation I felt for you.

Experiences that remind us just how much we love our children, are usually not fun, often fear filled, and we typically do not want to experience them again, but I do hold on to the memory of how tender my heart felt in those moments, and I'm reminded that I love you kids and your Dad more than anything in the whole world.  Even when we're potty training, even when you throw food all over the floor, even when you're being a stinker, I love being your Mom.

Girls, I am so so grateful we belong to each other.  

I love you,

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Letter to Isaac


Dear Isaac,

I'm lying in bed, with you, sandwiched between me and your brother.  Daddy's out of town and I've always pulled Boston into bed with me when he leaves, but the last few trips I've pulled you in too.  You're getting older bud.  More privileges, more responsibilities, more siblings, more everything.  There are only 4 of you so technically we don't have a middle child. But, because your youngest siblings are twins I feel like you're our middle.  Boston's the oldest, the twins are the youngest.

And as my middle child, tonight, I just felt the strong urge to let you know that you matter.  I see you.  I love you.  I notice you.  I respect every little thing that makes you you.  I hope you never feel lost in the shuffle.  I hope you always know how important you are to the very foundation of our family.  Without an Isaac our family wouldn't be nearly as fun, and silly, and thoughtful.  Your brother would be missing his best friend.  Your sisters would miss you teaching them everything you know. Your Dad would miss the love and hugs you pour out on him (you fill his cup with so much love) And I would miss all of the beautifully colored pictures, completed puzzles strewn about the house, and imaginative conversations we have together.

At this very young age what I see in you is,
patience.  So much patience.
A forgiving heart.
A caring friend.
An engineering mind.

At only 4 years old, there are so many more layers of Zekey to unravel and get to know and I can't wait for all of it.

I just wanted you to know it's a pure joy raising you.  I love you beyond.


Thursday, January 5, 2017

Letter to Rowan

Dear Rowy,

Happy birthday darling girl!  You're two!!!  And you know it!  You are filling in those britches a little more every day.  Mama threw you a tea party that we invited Stella, Abby, and Pippa to, and you and Rmei were quite the little ladies. I wanted you to understand last night that your birthday was today, so I told you that I'd be giving you balloons.  You knew to be excited about that and the rest of the afternoon and morning you behaved like a lady.  While I put braids in your hair you sat perfectly still and when I pulled out your new Freshly Picked moccasins , you promptly sat on your bum to put them on.  You and sister wished eachother multiple happy birthdays and showed off your pretty hair.

 Things I don't want  to forget about you at two:
You have developed a very spicey side.  Full of stubborn, independent goodness.
You love to climb on the counters and the dresser in your bedroom, and somehow you convince sister to join you.
You have a deep belly laugh I can't get enough of.
You love your brothers and will often ask Boston to comfort you.
You're a Mama's girl.
You love your blankie.
When Daddy comes home you shout, "Dada!!!"
You and sister can't say Remi so you both call each other Rowy.  But you do answer to the correct names.
I love hearing you say,
"dop it!" (stop it)
"ok Mama"
"Gank ooo babies" (Thank you baby).
"BACK" (be right back)

I love you and your extra silly little nature so much. You're beautiful and smart and just delightful  tlittle Row!  We love you so so much!


Letter To Remington

Dear Remi,

Happy Birthday baby doll!!!  You're two!  How did this happen?  You've grown so so fast.  You definitely keep me on my toes!  We had a really fun day today.  The brothers and Bonkie got you out of bed and we lit candles on your breakfast muffin.  Then we had a tea party with your 3 dear friends, Pippa, Stella, and Abby.  It was quite an elegant affair for a group of 2 and 3 year old girls.

Things I want to remember about you:
You give the sweetest loves to me and Daddy.  Daddy GOBBLES them up.
You're a Mama's girl.
You love Rowan and will put her first if she's sad.  You won't go to bed without her, or stay up if she's in bed.  You MUST be together. You also won't accept a treat without one for Rowan too. :)
You're talking lots with new words and sentences every day.  Right now we love hearing,
"I don't yike it" (I don't like it)
"I wuv you Mama"
"Mama.  Weed."  (Mama. Read.)
"I SACK" (Isaac)
You switch with Rowan, but lately you have been the little mother of you two.

Reading at night together from Anne Of Green Gables, Little Princess, and Little Women
Sucking your thumb.
I love your smile when you're feeling pretty.
I love your strut when you're feeling big.
I love your growl when you're feeling angry or silly or ferocious.
I love the way you give me Beijos and grab my face tight and look back at me, then dive in for big kisses and huggies.

I love you so much.  You're beautiful and funny and smart and kind and our whole family could not love you more!

Happy Birthday baby girl!