Friday, December 14, 2012

My boys

Dear Babies of mine,

Something heart breaking happened today.  Too heartbreaking to write about.  It didn't happen to our family personally but me and probably every parent across the country are shedding tears and feeling heart broken over it.  I feel inclined to hold you both so tight and not let go.  Never let you out of my sight and always keep you close to my heart.  But I can't wake either of you up and I'll have to let the both of you go someday...I only hope that day doesn't come sooner than I'm ready for.  So tonight, while you are both still under my roof, under my protection, safe and sound I want to write you a letter and just tell you a few scattered, yet seemingly important things that I want you to know.

You are both such good boys.  Your innocence and goodness just permeates our home and makes me and your Dad better people. 

A loving Heavenly Father created you.

You were both so wanted by your Dad and I before you came here...that hasn't changed.  :)

You'll spend all your lives learning and growing, but it's now, as children that you'll do the most teaching.

The two of you are so loved.

Your parents love each other so much.

You both are incredibly happy little men. 

Boston you are so smart.  Daddy and I are amazed at how quickly you learn new things and you try so hard.  Your confidence is something I admire and aspire to.  It's maybe my favorite thing about you.  You're silly.  That's probably my second favorite.  I love when you tell me to, "Come on Mom" in your big boy voice and I appreciate your pats on the back followed by, "Good job Mom".  I adore you. 
I just simply adore you.

Isaac, I've never known a more content person.  You're so happy just to be.  You teach me how to truly love.  The way you look at me warms my whole soul.  You spent a week with a fever and were only content if you were in my arms or sleeping next to my body.  The moment I walked away, you knew and needed me back.  My body gives you 100% of the nutrients you need to be alive and I just love being needed that way.  You perfectly forgive offenses and have endless love to give, through your cuddles and smiles.  I have so much to learn from you.  I think you just might be an old soul.  Believe it or not I need you just as much as you need me.  I needed to have you when I did and I needed the incredible experience I had in getting you here.  You've given me hope for many more babies to come.  :) 

I love you sweet babies.  In all of eternity this is my one chance to know you as little children.  My one chance to experience your "firsts".  I treasure this time so much and will not wish it away for one second...not even on the sleepless nights.. cause at least they're spent with one of you. 



Friday, December 7, 2012

Mini me

Dear Isaac,

You are such an adorable little fluffy baby.  I never thought I was cute as a baby, but somehow you look a ton like me as a baby, only you are the ultra cute version.  I love your big blue eyes, fluffy thighs and cheeks (on both ends I might add) and wild brown hair. Your personality is just a little slice of heaven.  You are so incredibly sweet and happy and smiley.  It's no wonder Daddy blessed you with a positive attitude, because you have already been displaying that daily.  You're incredibly patient and accommodating and you never have too many smiles to give out.

You're also a bit of a Momma's boy ( I love this).  You love just being near me and close to me.  You're content with whatever we're doing as long as we can be close.  I have yet to experience one moment of frustration with you.  Not one.  You're just so sweet there is no reason every to be frustrated.  You're a quiet crier but have a loud voice.  You love to coo and find your range and talk our ears off when you can get our attention.  You also loooovvee Bonky.  She's your other "girl" besides me.  You've taken many a nap in her arms and she calls you her little pain pill because holding you just makes everything better.  You're such a joy to have in our home.  You make Boston laugh all the time and he makes you laugh too.  You like to laugh with people and one night if I just kept saying "art" over and over you just died laughing.  It made me and Bonky laugh and laugh. 

When brother turned 3 months old he started to smell a bit like bacon from all of his drooling.  You have your own distinct saliva smell and it's Mac n cheese.  :)  Oh my stinky little men.  You also have lots of moments of smelling just like Heaven though.  Like straight out of a bath and there is nothing better than little babies breathe. 

You're almost 4 months old and have recently discovered your toes.  You love playing with them and are learning to use your hands to grab more things, like my hair, toys and your toys.  You're a big fan of your binky, but you might be a thumb sucker because you are always trying to find ways to work those fingers in your mouth.  We haven't had an appointment for you in a little while, but last I checked you weighed about 16 lbs.  Not sure how long you are.  I think about 23 inches maybe? 

We spend so much time snuggling.  I think you're more snuggly than Boss was.  You're quite active like he was (rolling over early and always moving that body) but you also love a good snuggle pressed up tight against me where I can give you endless kisses on your fluffy cheeks. 

Nakey time is happy time in your world.  The minute that diaper comes off you are all smiles.  I don't blame ya.  Your little rolls need some time to air out!  You also seem to love music, maybe you'll be my little singer.  Right now you are talking my ear off as I type and read this letter aloud to you.  You get so excited when I talk to you.  Often times before you cry you try really hard to explain yourself  and use your words.  Like just now you were saying "pick me up Momma" so i'm finishing this letter one handed.  You make me feel like a million bucks the way you stare and smile at me.  The two of us are pretty in love aren't we? So grateful for the endless hours of snuggle time we get, including in the Bjorn.  You don't care if I'm bending over a million times or if you're tipped a little to one side in that thing.  If your snuggled up to me with your hands by your cheeks you're happy as a clam.

I love you,

Love Momma

PS My main song to you seems to be The way you look tonight,  The words are adorable and you love to sing along to it with me..

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Isaac my chatty boy

Dear Zekey boo,

You are my little talker.  Every moment you're awake you like to spend it chatting.  When I sing, you sing and coo right along with me.  When you get really tired you chat and wiggle more until your happy turns into sappy (sad/happy) and you eventually cry, unless I pick up on your cues and wrap you up tight, snuggle you and lay you down for a nap.  You're completely adorable.  You've learned to flinch when brother comes near and sometimes you even let out a yelp before he's even touched you.  I don't blame you.  You've gotta come up with some sort of defense against your brother's fierce loveys.  I'm working on helping with that by making you big and strong with some good ol' Momma milk. He really does adore you though.  He always talks about how cute you are and needs to kiss you about 100 times a day.  He makes you smile and laugh, when he's not making you cry.

You and Bonky are quite the pals too.  You love talking with her and playing.  You also love to cuddle up to her for a good nap.  Today we practiced standing up and you were so proud of yourself you let out big yelps and laughs.  I laughed as you turned your head over your shoulder to see if Bonky and brother were seeing your trick.  I got so much joy out of watching your little bum stick out and you try to stand on those wobbly, fluffy thighs while I held your sweet little hands. 

I love you sweetheart.  You are so sweet you make me want to have a million more babies, but I'll let you be my only baby for another while.  We've just gotten started haven't we?

I love you darling boy.


Monday, November 19, 2012

Terrible Twos

Dear Boston,

You are my wild toddler boy.  At about 18 months you seemed to hit that "terrible two" stage, where you began to have opinions on everything, but still weren't capable of expressing those needs and opinions.  Nothing seemed to be lining up for you.  Your physical abilities were above your cognitive skills with some things, and your desires to be independent surpassed your capability to do so.   This led to some Tantrums, some difficult emotional days for you...and me.

The twos also came with a new baby brother which created even more adjusting for you and potty training.  Potty training wasn't the nightmare I imagined it would be. There were a couple frustrating moments, a few accidents but mostly just lots of cheering, dancing, marching to the bathroom and talking.  We had fun during our 3 stay at home potty days and I could tell you felt extra loved with all the time we were spending together because you gave me lots of extra pat pats and hugs.  :)  Don't pull a fast one on me now that I'm thinking we have this potty thing down.  You keep it up buddy!

Ok, so twos came with it's challenges and will continue to do so.  It has definitely tried my patience more than any other age, but in the last week your little brain sponge is just soaking up everything around you and I'm watching you discover the world on this whole new level.  I've never seen anything like it!  To watch your kid discover things in a new way and actually hear and see their little brains growing and absorbing is the most incredible thing I've ever witnessed!  You are amazing Boston!  Potty training just has clicked and you've been talking in small sentances for a couple months but just in the last week they have reached a whole new level.  And you're starting to understand things I've been trying to explain to you for months and you have figured out how to have real conversation.  It's been so cool to watch and know that just one week ago you weren't doing these very same things!  It makes me realize there is an insane amount of potential in you!  My job?  Help draw it all out of you by providing you with as inspiring of an environment as I can.  Let me share with you some little memories we created this week that I'll hold on to forever,

A conversation:
Me: "Boston no more running around brother, why don't you run from that window to this one"
You: "Why?" (your first time asking this question)
Me: (in my head, "wow, guess we're reaching the "why" stage) because it's dangerous and could hurt brother."
You:  "Ok".
Then you begin to run from one window to the next like I asked.

Deep thinking:
After you had hurt brother and gone to time out I told you how sad that made me when you did this. We moved on and about 10 minutes later you said,

"Yes Bosty?"
"Who cried Bosty?"
"Ohh did you make brother cry?"
You nod your head.
"How did you make him cry?  Did you poke his eye?  Or did you pull his hair?"
"His hairs"
"oohh that's kinda sad huh?"
You nod your head again.
Then I proceed to kiss and hug you as I cry  and laugh because It literally breaks my heart and makes me beam all at the same time watching you grow up.

New approaches:
Light pat on my shoulder followed by
"Mommy, binky?"
"Oh it's on the counter"
"Oh.  UM K".
Then you head downstairs to bring Daddy a binky for Isaac.

Patiently Explaining:
We were dancing around and as we're singing and dancing you say, "Mommy" then proceed to try and sing the song you want me to sing, but your off key and you don't know the words so I can't figure out the song.
"Mommy, look".
I look.
"the pig song?" I ask not knowing what that could be.
"Mommy, oink oink" you make a pig sound.
"Old Mcdonald?"
a huge grin spreads across your face, because you were able to explain what you wanted and I understood.  Being understood is one of the best feelings in the world isn't it?
We then jumped and danced and sang old mcdonald, with a few extra verses for the pigs. 

Today we spent the day making candies, licking chocolate out of the bowl, cleaning the bathrooms and the kitchen together.  You're just my little helper and getting closer to the point where you're ready for some real chores.  Oh my sweet boy, I have officially declared two as my favorite age yet.  Never have I  been more frustrated but I've also never been this in love with you.  It's a good thing however that I have a little baby to snuggle on while you break my heart getting so big! 
You're the most incredible person Boss.  I know this.  And remember Mommy knows everything. :)
You are terribly cute my little friend


Saturday, November 3, 2012

Dear Isaac



Dear Isaac,
I love nursing you.  I love being the one you need.  There's nothing better then watching your little milk drunk body stretch out those legs and arms in total satisfaction with a silly sleepy smile on that sweet face as you doze off with your tiny body snuggled right up to mine.

I love you my boy,

Love Momma

Monday, October 22, 2012

Quiet, happy mornings

Dear boys,

Daddy woke up first this morning.  He quietly hopped in the shower and I gave in to the sounds of you (Isaac) grunting.  We nursed, we read, we cuddled, we slept.  An hour later, big brother (that's you Boston) woke up.  You called for Daddy, but Daddy was gone.  You got me instead. 

"Good morning Boss, want to come cuddle with Momma?"


"Daddy's at work baby"

" No"

"Want to cuddle with Momma in bed?"


"Ok, you come when you're ready". 

Isaac, you and I waited in bed until brother was reading to join us.  I continued reading and pulled out a sleeve of wheat crackers.  Boston, you sauntered in slowly and upon noticing the crackers, got a huge smile on your face.  I, careful not to pay you too much attention, opened up a little cuddle space next to me on the bed.  You climbed right in, I continued reading and we quietly devoured an entire sleeve of crackers.  We sat there for close to an hour quietly enjoying each other's company. you (Boston) leaning up every now and then to give me salty, crumbly kisses, or share one of your hand picked crackers with me and you (Isaac) grunting away as you cuddled up on my chest and buried your face deep in my neck.

We came downstairs, washed down our crackers with glasses of milk, read some books and you (Boston) and I patted and kissed brother until he drifted off to sleep.

It's been a really good morning, I'm thinking this calls for an equally enjoyable afternoon of more of the same. 

I love lazy days with you two.



Tuesday, September 18, 2012

My Little Oyster

Dear Isaac,

You turned 1 month old just a few days ago and today on your brother's 2nd birthday, we went to the Dr. for our regular check ups.  The Dr.  says you're growing and chubbing up just perfectly!  You're in the 60 and 63% for height and weight.  You're head however is in the 94%.  Sorry kiddo, us Yanceys (and many Bradburys) have big heads.  I guess it's that giant brain of yours.  :) 

I love watching you get chubby thighs, and extra chins and rolls on your wrist because I know that I put all that delicious chub there.  We make quite the nursing team pal and I am so grateful for that!  I spent a few needless days worrying over you because an incompetent urgent care Dr. diagnosed you with Thrush, because of a white dot on the roof of your mouth.  It turns out that white dot is just an Epstein pearl, so now I call you my little Oyster.  :)  I find you irresistibly cute and I spend LOTS of time kissing your sweet lips and fluffy cheeks.  You love when I do this and make the sweetest little sing songy coos while I do this.  Our lactation consultant even commented on what a sweet voice you have.  :)   Everyone thinks you're such an adorable baby and people always comment on "all that hair". 

You're already rolling over both ways and are incredibly strong.  Your eyes lighten up every day and so does your hair.  You hair even has an auburn tint to it, just like brother's did at this age.  Daddy is quite in love with you too and spends every night getting lots of cuddles in with you before bed.  We love our time after Boss goes to bed and Daddy and I can get some quality time with just you.  We both cuddle and stare at you, sometimes take pictures and just talk about your general cuteness and how in love we are with you.  In fact you're sleeping on Daddy right now, but in a minute he'll hand you off to me and we'll cuddle all night long. 

Daddy brought home a swing we're borrowing and my heart got a little sad when he brought it in the door.  Right now I spend a lot of the day holding you and all night holding you too, and when I saw that swing I felt a little jealous of the time it will soon be spending with you.  But not too soon, I think I'll keep you in our bed just a little while longer.  I'm just not ready to give you up. 

You're a precious, sweet not to mention very tolerant of all our chaos little boy and I love you so so much!  You are my third boy to fall in love with and while our little love affair has only been going for not quite a year, I love you every little bit as my first two loves. 

Love always,


PS We're still waiting for your first official smiles.  I've gotten a few out of you when I kiss your lips, but I'm waiting for the real deal! 

Happy 2nd Birthday

Dearest Boston,

Oh how I love you!  I cannot believe it has been two years since you were born to your Dad and I and almost 3 years that you've been hanging out with your Momma 24/7.  I have loved and adored you every second of your life.  So many big giant changes have happened in the last 2 years, yet some things remain the same.

You went from grunting all day long to talking (in sentences!), and laughing and singing all throughout the day.

You were just 6 lbs 12 oz and even got down to 5 1/2 lbs and just 19 inches long at birth.  Now, you're my big 28 lber and in the 88th % for your height.

I used to spend hours huddled over you, while you cooed and grunted, flailing your little arms and legs on a blanket on the floor.  Now, the only time we play lying down is if we're pretending to fall asleep and then JUMP up really fast to show that we are in fact WIDE AWAKE!

Like I said, while a lot has changed, some things have remained the same.  Every day, for every nap and every night I cuddle you to me, and while I rock you I sing the same 3 songs that I sang to you from the time you were in my tummy.

You still have many of your same favorites.  Your snuggies, Doggy, the Moon, balloons, and all of your favorite books.  We still do devotional as we always have (you love it too) and occasionally you will still fall asleep on my shoulder while I carry you up the stairs.  

I can't believe how much our life has changed over the years and how much you've grown.  You know so much, you're curious about everything and you love to learn.  My favorite thing you do right now is say, "Mommy, what?" and that means you want me to tell you the name of whatever it is you're pointing to.  And when I tell you the name, you repeat it softly with a big smile on your face.  It's so amazing to watch you discover this world.  The things you discover and are excited about are so cute too, like rips in your jeans, "Momma What?" or sprinklers on our walks, "Mommy what?", or new foods and sometimes even old foods that you just now would like to know the names of.

You have such an awesome sense of humor and you love making people laugh.  You're friendly as can be and even though you're incredibly tough and wild and skilled at climbing, jumping and all things boy, you are also the best hugger and kisser I know, right up there with Zeke and of course next to Daddy that is.  I love laughing with you.  I LOVE playing pretend with you.  We like to play all over the house with your cars and even better I love watching you play when you don't notice I'm there.  It's so sweet to hear the simple conversations you stage from one toy to the other.

We love playing silly games together and I try to make all our games include lots of huggys and kisses.  You're favorite game to play with Mommy is "Doggies".  We bark and crawl and nuzzle up to each other's faces.  You've started playing doggy when you need some extra cuddle time from me and I love it.   You're at such a fun age right now.  You're still so little, but growing bigger and more independent every day.  For example you always need a kiss when you're hurt, but sometimes for the sake of time, you decide to slap a kiss on your knee yourself and call it good. :)  I love this combo of little man and baby boy.  You also love to know that you're still Mommy and Daddy's baby boy.

There are so many times in the day that you want us to be hands off and let you figure things out on your own, but tonight Daddy and I tucked you in together (a special treat for you birthday) and while he rocked you, I knelt beside you and we all sang songs together.  You had a giant smile spread across your face the whole time and gently put your arm around my neck, while I laid my head on your chest and you stroked my hair.  If I sat up, you softly put your arm around me again.  Talk about wrapping your Mom around your little finger.  Then we had our family kiss fest and Daddy and I kissed your cheeks while you smiled and ate up every second.  Not to mention all the kisses I planted on those sweet red lips of yours.  Oh how we love you!  In our prayer tonight I got choked up thanking Heavenly Father for you.  It feels like my birthday today and you are my gift!  By the way, you're learning to pray right now and it is so sweet.  You mostly just say "Mommy" and "Daddy", repeatedly with the occasional "brother, Bonky and Jesus" and a few BIG "Ammeeeens" but I have to believe these are some of the Lord's favorite prayers.     

You love visiting the Dr. (sadly you're all to familiar with this routine) and you love nursery at church.  It helps whenever Grandma (AKA Bonky) is in there.  You're Daddy is still your best friend, but you and I have a pretty great thing going.  Isaac is slowly working his way into your heart too.  You are such a sweet big brother for being only 2.  Isaac has received his fair share of hits and pokes from you, sometimes out of curiosity, other times frustration, but he's been the recipient of even more hugs, beijos and cuddles.  Today I asked you to make sure Isaac didn't fall off the couch while I got him a diaper and you lovingly and extremely gently, put your arms around his head and chest, taking great care not to wrap too tight, until I came back.  You took your responsibility to protect Isaac very seriously.

 I can see how much you love him and I love that relationship you two are building.  I realize my time will become more divided with the more children that come into our family, but I will always treasure the days you and I spent finding a hundred different ways to soak up every minute with each other.  Endless days of hugging, kissing, playing and just plain staring at each other for hours on end.  You are one of my most favorite people on this earth and I thank Heavenly Father every single day, not just for making me a Mom, but for allowing me the honor of being your Mom.  If Heavenly Father has favorites I'm sure you're one of his.  :)

I love you so much my Darling boy and I'm so proud of everything you are and are becoming.

Thank you for loving me too.  Love,


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Becoming a brother

Dear Boston,

Life has changed quite a bit for you in the last two weeks.  I spent my first 2 nights in a row away from you, while your baby brother was born.  When Daddy and I got home, we brought a baby with us that to your surprise is here to stay.  It was tough adjusting to having less one on one time with Mommy and Daddy for the first week, but things are feeling back to normal now. 

While we were in the hospital you visited us twice a day and got some practice in holding brother.  Grandma took good care of you while me and Daddy were gone and Daddy even came home one night from the hospital to tuck you in bed.  The first thing you did when me, Daddy and Zeke came in the door was sit on the couch and hold baby brother.  You helped him suck on his binky and gave him lots of beijos and pats.  You already are such a sweet brother.  Isaac had a rough day at the Drs. and you were extra sweet to him all day.  When he cried you would run for his binky and try to give it to him.  You also talked extra soft and sweet to him, with lots of soft pats and beijos.  I think you knew he was having a rough day and you were very concerned about him.  :)

Momma's still figuring out how to get in enough time with both her boys, but we're off to a good start.  I spend all night with Isaac, because he has to eat a lot and again because of nursing we spend a lot of cuddling time during the day.  To make sure I get enough time with you, we do our devotional/learning time together every day and you and I go on a walk all by ourselves. I love our walks together.  Your favorite thing to do on these walks is find sprinklers that hit the sidewalk and go stand in the water.  :)  When you spot a sprinkler you shout "water!" and we run toward it.  We also go on dates to visit Daddy at work, just you and me and whenever I run an errand I bring you with me.  I take a nap during your nap time and so does Isaac.  You and I have had so much fun spending every second together for the last 2 years, but now that we have another buddy to play with I think we'll have even more fun! 

The moment Isaac was born, you instantly seemed so much bigger and older.  Being a big brother will be a big part of who you are and I can't wait to watch you grow and learn in this new exciting roll.  I can't believe my baby Boston is now my oldest child.  Isaac is one lucky kid to have you as a big brother. 

I love you Buddy.



First 2 weeks

Dear Isaac,

You are two weeks old today and your due date was just yesterday.  You've been in our arms such a short time, but already we can't picture our lives without you.  You are so sweet and have a very similar temperament to big brother's.  You're a happy, mellow little man and you hardly cry.  You smile lots in your sleep and sometimes even with your eyes open.  Just like your brother, you're one tough little dude.  At one week old you decided it was time to roll over.  Your brother did this at 6 weeks.  I imagine having a big brother to watch will help you pick up his tricks quickly! 

Nursing is one of your favorite past times and we make a good team buddy!  Every night I put you to bed in your awesome arms reach co sleeper and the two of us try to catch a few zzz's for a couple hours before you're ready to nurse again.  Every now and then you make it 4 + hours without nursing, but usually you like to eat much more often than that.  :) 

Boston really likes to hold you and help you with your Binky.  He loves to touch your hair and give you beijos on your forehead.  Whenever he leaves the house he says, "Bye baby" or "Bye Zekey".  You and him will be best buddies some day soon and I can't wait to watch your relationship grow. 

I never thought I was a very cute baby, but I must of been, because you look exactly like me as a baby and you are stinkin adorable.  Your hair is already awesome and you have a ton of it.  You have a lot of brother in you, some Daddy, definitely some Mommy and then your own little look on top of it all.  You are one handsome little dude, with the perfect amount of chub.  Your coloring is much more like Daddy's, but the verdict is still out on your eyes.  Will they be blue?  Green?  Not sure just yet. 

You spend most of your days cuddled up to me or Grandma (AKA Granbonk), but we're trying to get you a little more tummy time.  Today you spent all day cuddled up to Mommy because you were circumcised.  You weren't real happy with this experience, but you did great and toughed it out at the Dr.'s.  The Dr. normally doesn't let parents be in the room for circumcisions, but I told them I held brother's hands when he got his done and asked if I could do the same with you, so they said ok.  The Dr. said maybe they should start letting parents come back, because usually children scream bloody murder the whole time they're strapped down on the table.  You cried a little, but were calmed by me holding your hands and kissing your cheeks.  I even sang a little, just like I did for brother. 

I think that's all the highlights from your first two weeks of life.  I should probably swaddle you up and put you in bed now, so we can both get some rest...maybe I'll wait a few minutes.  You look awful cozy cuddled up on Daddy's chest.  :) 



Thursday, July 19, 2012

Tubes and Adenoids

Dear Boston,

Yesterday you got your adenoids taken out and tubes put in both ears.  These are both pretty simple procedures but they had to put you under general anesthesia for them.  Mommy was really nervous about you going under, but lots of friends and family were praying for you.  As big as you're getting and as old as you seem, any time I thought of you in surgery (albeit "mini" surgery) you just seemed like a tiny, tiny baby.  Daddy wasn't so nervous.  He knew you would be just fine.

So yesterday we woke you up early and brought you to the surgery center. You were in a very happy mood, but not as happy as when the nurse gave you some "happy medicine" to calm your little nerves and make you a little sleepy.  We put you in a mini yellow gown with your little diaper bum hanging out the back.  :)  The nurses told us you might get silly on the medicine and you certainly did.  You were a total goof ball and for about an hour before surgery you laid on the bed with Momma laughing and saying, "Hi, hi, hello, hi, hi, hi, DAAADDDDY!!! Hi, hi hi, hi Daddy!!" while waving at me or Daddy.  It was pretty funny.  When it was time to take you back to the operating room, Daddy and I had to hand you off to a nurse.  You gave us big hugs and then went right to the nurse who let you press the button to open the OR doors (this made Mommy extra like her).  You didn't cry at all and they said you would be out within a couple minutes of being in the OR.

Daddy and I waited in the waiting room patiently not too worried.  The receptionist told us about 10 minutes in that they decided they would in fact be taking out your adenoids which would make the procedure a bit longer.  So we waited another 15 minutes and the Dr. walked out to tell us everything went great.  Your adenoids were huge and filled with green gunk.  Poor kid.  We asked him if that was why you always have stinky breathe and he said yes.  And to think we just thought you were our stinky little boy.  :)  The Dr. said the nurses would come out in about 10 minutes once you were awake from the anesthesia.  Well 10 minutes came and went and Mommy started to get really antsy.  Daddy tried to keep me calm by talking to me about the Bachelorette and other things I'm interested in, but I couldn't be distracted.  I just kept tapping my foot and looking at the doors waiting for a nurse to come get us.  After about 35 minutes I went to the receptionist desk and asked if it usually took this long.  About a minute later a nurse came out to get us.  We hurried back and you hadn't even fully woke up.  You were so tiny and out of it, sitting up in a big bed, leaning on a nurse and coughing.  The nurse told me I could climb in bed with you, which she didn't have to tell me twice, I was already on my way. I teared up seeing you and once you realized i was next to you you started to cry and say Mommy over and over.  You saw that your hands were wrapped up (because of the iv) and didn't like that, but within just a couple minutes we were cuddled up and you were snoring away with a little oxygen mask on.  The nurses said you were a bit of a light weight, because they didn't give you much anesthesia but your little body was having a hard time coming out of it.  So we just cuddled for about an hour on the bed while you slowly woke up.

Papa came to check on you and after a little while we started to try to wake you up.  I would talk to you, but you'd just keep snoring away.  Then Daddy came up beside the bed and said, "Bosty, it's Daddy" and your eyes opened up and you looked up at Daddy and said, "Daddy" in a whisper.  Daddy kept talking to you and asked you if you wanted to fly his chopper when we got home and you whispered, "chee cha" and fell back asleep.  Once you did fully wake up you were pretty unhappy and did not like getting your iv taken out.  We got you dressed and drove you home.  Once home you and I cuddled on the couch, drinking almond milk and watching Ella enchanted. Within an hour of being home you were up and running around, playing ball with Grandma as happy as could be.  Your procedure was at 6:45 am so around 1230 Mommy brought you upstairs and we laid down in my bed and took a nice long 3 hour nap.  You've been a happy boy ever since, with the exception on waking up early this morning (4 am) with "ouchies".

After almost 2 years of watching you be sick more often than you were healthy, we look forward to a new little boy.  Hopefully you will be much healthier from here on out!  Last night Mommy was driving home from Yoga and I turned off the music and said a prayer of gratitude that everything went so well and I thanked the Lord for giving us you.  We love you so much.



Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Bros before....Moms?

Dear Boston,

I have a confession and I'm not proud of it.  I was a little manipulative tonight and tried to create a wedge (albeit a small wedge) between you and your Dad.  You see you're SUCH a Daddy fan and he gets your very best smiles, hugs, cheers and excitement, so naturally when an opportunity comes my way to weasel my way in to "rock star status" I'm gonna act on it.  Right?  OK, it might not be right, but it's what I did.

Here's how it all went down,

Daddy was sharing his treat with you but before you could wrap your little mouth around that treat one more time, Daddy had gobbled the whole thing up!  Maybe some days he could get away with that, but not today.  You cried and cried and sat looking angrily at Daddy while loudly screaming your disapproval, but Daddy didn't budge.  So you turned to me... and I saw my chance to squeeze in and be the favorite, even if it was only for the night.  I scooped you up in my arms and we both stared at Daddy in disapproval and vented about how "oh so mean" he was.  I snuggled you and told you all about how I would never do that to you (I'm sorry, that was a lie) and we cried it out together.

I thought I had you, until Daddy deciding he'd seen enough of this I suppose pathetic display said "Boston come here" with no effort in his voice at all.  And what did you do?  In an instant of absolute forgiveness you reached both arms out to your Daddy, forgetting that HE was the one who so ruthlessly ate the LAST BITE of your shared treat, and laid your head on his shoulder and finished crying it out with him.  You didn't even look back once, not even a nod of "thanks for trying Mom".  Then to rub salt in the wound you curled up in Daddy's arms and fell asleep.

I suppose this is my letter to say I've resigned myself to being the absolute very best, most awesomest amazingist to Daddy.

Hey I'll take it.



Tuesday, May 15, 2012


Dear Boston,

This year was my favorite Mother's day yet.  Daddy let me sleep in while you and him wrapped my present, made me a card and later presented me with breakfast in bed.  You were reluctant to hand over my gift (as you seemed to think it was yours) and you quickly proceeded to pick up each of my pancakes with your little hands,  and attempt to stuff them in your mouth (I was able to retrieve a few pancakes before they reached your puckered lips).  Our little family of four chatted and talked on the bed as we enjoyed breakfast together.  Isaac kicked and played in my tummy, while you rolled around and Daddy and I sat smiling at you.

At one point that morning you decided to take the lead in our family conversation.  You looked at Daddy and did your sign for Moon.  Daddy said, "Where's the moon?"  Then you made your noise for birds,  "caaw", after that you quickly told us about "Balloons"  which sounds more like, "labllllloon".  I looked at Daddy and said "he's just talking to us about what he's interested in.  I think in your head the conversation went more like this,

"So guys, did you see the moon last night?  I love the moon".
"And how about birds?  Birds are pretty awesome right? Thanks Dad for teaching me how to make the bird sound, it's way cooler than Mommy's whistle she tried to teach me".
"Oh ya!  And Balloons!  Lets get me some of those!"

Daddy and I are eagerly awaiting many more conversations just like this one.



Friday, April 27, 2012

To my Boys

Dear Boston (Boss) and Isaac (Zeke),

Don't worry, you boys will still get your individual letters but today I just wanted to write you both a little note of some random but important things I want you to always remember.

I love your Dad more than anything.  He is my rock and my very best friend.  Him and I are a team and I will always support and love him.

You will both have your own unique personalities and interests, but when it comes to the really important things, do your best to follow Dad's example.  You can't go wrong.

I love being a Mom and specifically being your Mom.

I've never been more passionate or more in love with anything in my whole life than Motherhood.

My life is not perfect.  I'm not a perfect Mom, I'm not a perfect wife, I don't have perfect kids (although sometimes I think I do) but I have THE perfect life for me.  It is beautiful with all of its ups and downs and the trials I go through are the exact right trials for me.

I'm thankful for my trials.

We lucked out (you two, me and Dad) I'm pretty sure we've scored the best family around.

We are so lucky to have been born into the Gospel.  It's the number one blessing in each of our lives, even more than each other.

I am a very happy person and I think that's more about the choices I make to be happy, than the natural state of my being.  So choose to be happy and if that doesn't come easy, keep searching, keep working, it will come.

Think about girls and women respectfully and treat them that way.

Whatever you're interested in learning about, pursue it with a passion.

Go on missions.  Remember this is coming from the woman that would much prefer you both to never leave my sight, let alone leave me for 2 years with very little contact.  So if I'm saying go, then you have to know it's because I believe it will determine and change not only the lives of many others, but the entire rest of your lives as well.  A day doesn't go by that your Dad doesn't mention some learning experience from his mission, it shaped him into the man he is.  Go on missions.

Pray.  Pray when you're happy, sad, confused, doubting, angry or hurt.  And when you really don't want to pray, that's when you pray your hardest.

Treat your Grandparents with the highest respect.  Be soft with them, be kind to them.  Always ask how you can help them and most of all talk with them.  They know more about life than any of your siblings or friends and even your parents so learn all you can from them, I promise you'll never regret it.

Be involved.  When it comes to the things you love or that are important to you, be involved.  These things might be church, your family, relationships, school, sports, music, art, friends and the list could go on.

Work hard.  Not much is worth your time if it didn't or doesn't require some hard work to achieve.

Love the Temple and when you're at the right age, visit it often.  It's unlike any other place on this earth and the more you go, the more you'll understand about Heavenly Father's plan for you.

Develop a close relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  There are lots of ways to do this but start by praying and listening, studying your scriptures, and showing kindness and love to those around you.

Listen to good music.  It will have a huge affect on your life.

Read, read, read.   As your Momma I'm already working to help you boys develop a love of reading and I'm hoping it will stick.  Being avid readers will open up lots of doors for you, I promise.

Learn to play an instrument.

Put your family first and someday when I'm not the main girl in your life (tear) and you get married to someone you love, and maybe you have some children of your own, then you put that family first, even above me and Dad and your siblings.  Although make sure you still call and visit often. :)

Lastly, remember that you are both good boys.  Such good boys.  Sometimes little boys (especially energetic little boys) have a hard time sitting still or obeying rules, but this doesn't make you naughty.  All that energy is a really, really good thing and I will keep working with you to figure out the right ways to use that energy. That might involve some time outs and tears, but just know that your Momma knows what good boys you are.  You'll make some poor choices as young men, and missionaries and as husbands and dads and even as old men, but just remember that you are good boys and your Momma and Daddy will always love you.



Monday, April 16, 2012

Seeing what you see

Dear Boston,

Tonight was a funny night for us.  Daddy was still at work and I was busy whipping up a fabulous dinner (truly it was fabulous, Daddy scored it a 10!)  and you were busy climbing on the kitchen counter, while I'm attempting not to burn all our food.  I had to pull you off the counter at least 20 times but wasn't able to put you in time out because I didn't want to burn the food. I was getting very frustrated with this little cat and mouse game, not to mention a fly was whisking by me every 3 seconds, stirring up even more frustration.
I was so frustrated I called Daddy and told him to "get home faster, because I can not cook with Boston!"

After your gazillionth time of climbing on the counter, I was about to lose it.  I probably was going to yell and whip you off that counter and march you straight up to your room...burnt food or not, but at that moment you noticed the fly.  You were awestruck.  You could not believe your eyes.  You jumped up and down (while still on the counter...good thing you're not great at jumping yet) and pointed wildly at your friend, the fly.  I wanted to discipline you and get mad, but you were just so dang excited, I couldn't help but watch.  You looked repeatedly from my face, back to the fly, back to me and in your babbling you were saying,  "Mom!  Are you seeing this?!!!  What is this awesome tiny creature?!  I love him!"  So instead of scolding you, I chose to tell you the name of this marvel.  "That's called a fly Boston.  FFF FFF Fly."  You got the biggest smile I've ever seen on your face.  "This awesomeness has a name!!!"  "FFF!  FFFFF! FFFF!"  You repeated over and over pointing and laughing your deep belly laugh that makes your cheeks get red and your eyes bug out.  I started laughing too and swatting at the fly as it got near me.  You laughed even harder and imitated me.

I finally had the sense, to pull you off the counter and you chased the fly laughing and swatting away.  When Daddy got home (to his surprise)  you and I were laughing our heads off.   The first thing you said to him was, "FFF!  FFF!"  I explained what you had discovered and Daddy picked you up and the two of you chased that poor fly all over the house.  It made my whole night watching you laugh that long and hard.

When It was time for bed, we finished family prayer and I began to rock you to sleep.  Just as Daddy was walking out of the room, you cocked your head back to see him and said, "FFF.  FFFF".  I think you were trying to say, "Hey Dad, remember how cool it was when we chased that fly around?  Ya...good times Dad, good times".

Boss you make our simple little world the coolest, funniest, grandest adventure we could ever be apart of!  I love viewing our life from your perspective.

I love you Sweetpea



PS  Rest in peace Mr. Fly...Daddy eventually caught up with you.  I'm sure we'll meet a distant cousin of yours soon.

Friday, April 13, 2012


Dear Boston and Isaac,

I am so excited for the two of you to meet face to face in just a few months.  I can't wait to see how you two interact together and I'm excited to watch your brotherhood bond and friendship grow.  I hope you always look to each other as best friends.  I'm excited to have our little family of 4 and share in so many memories together.  I'm excited for afternoons at home with my two boys, playing, wrestling, reading and laughing.  Hopefully the whole, "sharing Mommy" thing won't be too rough on you guys.

Right now I think of these last few months as my last moments for Boston to have me all to himself, but the other night I realized that he doesn't have me all to himself, because you Isaac are already very much apart of our little family.

Boston, you were having a really hard night a few nights back.  You were sick and couldn't sleep unless I cuddled you tight.  After getting up multiple times to rock you in my arms, I became exhausted and brought you to bed with me.  I laid you on my chest and sang you your set of lullabies.  Soon, your crying stopped and you were cooing and drifting happily off to sleep.

Isaac, as your brother was falling asleep to my lullabies I started to feel you kick and wiggle and twist and turn.  In that moment It hit me that I was singing to both my boys and that both of you could hear me.  I bet you love when I sing to Boston or talk to him softly because you get to hear all of that.  I also realized that as much as you're getting to know mine and Daddy's voices, you're also getting to know your brother!  You probably recognize all of his cries, growls, laughs and coos.  You guys spend a lot of time pressed up against each other while hanging out with Momma.

I kind of love that.

I love both you boys so much and can't wait to hold you both in my arms.


PS I'll have to come up with a new set of lullabies that are special just for you Isaac.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

A blessing

Dear Boston,

You're 17 months old and getting bigger and smarter and stronger every day.  Life is rapidly changing for you.  You went from sleeping in a pack n play (safe and sound I might add) to climbing out of your pack n play constantly and switching to a big boy bed.  In your new found freedom you're discovering how to play in your room in the dark and open your door and walk down the hall into Mom and Dad's room all by yourself.  You also recently just got over being really sick with Bronchitis and tonsilitis, not to mention Daddy went from playing at home every day all day with us, to being gone most of the day at work.  What I'm getting at is that a lot of things seem to be adding up to what has been a really hard day for you. 

  A couple nights ago you woke up 3 times during the night and today you woke up from your nap bawling and you couldn't be consoled for over an hour. This isn't like you at all.  We put you to bed and you went right down at your usual time, but you woke up only an hour later, again inconsolable.  Daddy and I tried to comfort you and tried to determine what was wrong.  Are you teething?  Your cry definitely sounded like a pain cry.  Are you overtired?  Sick?  Overstimulated?  Scared?  Uncomfortable?  Hungry?  We couldn't figure out what to do for you, so I asked Daddy to give you a blessing.  At this point you were still screaming and crying.  You never let me cradle you anymore (you're just too old for that) but I cradled you anyway in my arms, while you still screamed.  I told you that Daddy was going to give you a blessing and Heavenly Father would speak to you and not only that but he would take care of you and make you feel better.  I then told you to have some faith.  Daddy laid his hands on your head and you immediately stopped screaming and crying.  It was instant. 

  Daddy blessed you and you calmed right down and began to drift off to sleep.  Nothing we had done helped, no cuddling, talking, singing, or anything else we tried helped, but in that moment I know with all my heart you were connected directly with Heavenly Father and you recognized his spirit even stronger than normal.  You looked up at Daddy and I at the end of the blessing and we kissed you on the lips, walked you to bed and you've been out ever since.  The Gospel is an amazing thing, and that experience was another testimony builder that I'll hold on to.  I've said this to you before, but remember that the Spirit is familiar to you, it's ingrained in you and you know how to recognize it.  You're perfect and innocent right now, but as you get older I hope you remember to live your life in a way that the Spirit can speak as strongly to you as it did tonight and always offer you the immediate relief and comfort that it did tonight.

We love you Darling,


You and Dadda cuddled up when you were sick
Momma and Dadda

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Loving the Ladies

Boston you love girls.  You're a big fan.  You like that they're usually a little bossy, and that they smile and giggle at you.  You like that they're sweet and give nice hugs and beijos.  I'm sure you think they're quite pretty (in fact you seem to gravitate toward pretty girls) but your favorite thing about them is,

ALL THAT HAIR!  You love hair.  You think hair is the most fascinating, wonderful toy ever.  I know I'm the reason you're so fixated with hair.  I ruined you as a baby.  I would let you play with my hair in your face, twist it in your fingers as you nursed or gather it up as you fell asleep, but this was before you had an insane grip.  This was back when I was a young, naive Mom of just a few months (I'm sooo much wiser now...wink, wink).  :)

The other day I unknowingly took you to hair Heaven.  We went to, Jump Sky high! This is a giant gym with floor to ceiling trampolines.  I knew you would have a great time and enjoyed watching you bounce (or mostly just run really fast) from one trampoline floor to the next.  But I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.  The first hour of jumping was great, but the last hour you all the sudden were surrounded not only by trampolines, but little girls with bouncing curls.  The look on your face was priceless and I knew the thoughts going through your head were all about that hair, flowing everywhere!  I watched with a smile as you chased little girls and they giggled running away from you, but secretly I prayed you would never catch them.

I saw your little chubby fingers brush against locks of hair and I sighed with relief as the hair slipped from your finger tips, missing your grasp by mere centimeters. 

You're first victim of the day was a girl who looked about 10.  She made the mistake of laying down on the trampoline, with her blonde waving hair spread out.  You took action.  You grabbed her hair and hung on for dear life.  This had your pregnant Mom racing across the trampolines shouting "uh oh" as I tried to save this poor child.  After a small struggle I freed this little girl and you and I did the long walk (bounce?) of shame back to our bench.  Sadly this little girl was not your last victim.  You found many others.  Some were getting diaper changes, some were naive enough to actually lay down on the trampoline (don't they know attacks from above are so much worse?). 

You and I had lots of apologies to make that day which included a lot of soft hair petting to display your change of heart.  Mommy's apologies didn't involve me petting other Mom's hair, just lots of "I'm so sorries".  All the mommy's seemed to understand and surprisingly most people still thought you were quite cute in all your hair pulling, giant smile, run/bouncing glory. 



Saturday, January 7, 2012

Super Boston

Dear Superbaby/almosttoddlergettingtoooldtoofastwithoutyourmother'spermission,

You are quite the little Superhero around these parts.  You constantly wear your snuggie (as you know that's the name we have for your blanky) tied around your neck (courtesy of Dad) like a cape.  The snuggy?  Not so manly, but the cape?  You're straight up Superhero kid. 

This just strikes me as so toddler and not baby at all.  Where did your baby days go?  Have you left them permanently behind you?  It's a blessing we're getting a new baby soon.  You'll have someone to practice your big bro.  skills on and I'll have someone to cuddle and rock again, while still getting to enjoy all of your big boy moments.

Every now and then you let me get in a couple baby moments with you.  Like this morning, we rocked for 45 minutes in the chair just singing and laughing, with you touching my face and kissing and cuddling.  Those 45 minutes go down as some of my favorite ever with you.

The bonus to you getting older is that you're starting to grasp time outs.  Or I guess I should say they're starting to be more effective.  Now after a time out I walk you out of your room and most times you will go with me up to (the chair, counter, tv, computer...whatever it was you were climbing on) and point and say, "uh oh" and most the time, you don't do it again!  Woohoo, progress.  :) 

I love you, you crazy Super boy. 



PS  You can often be found wearing your Cape while sweeping the kitchen with your new broom.  Now that's my kind of Superhero!