Thursday, October 21, 2010

Just you and me

Dear Boston,

Today was our third day alone just you and me, doing our new baby/new mom thing. Neither of us (including Daddy) got much sleep last night, but by the time Daddy was ready to leave for work he just couldn't resist pulling you out of bed (after you had finally fallen asleep) to cuddle you a bit. Once you were out of bed I couldn't resist you either, so we just laid in bed and I held you while I read scriptures and a book. Later today we got all ready (I showered, did my make up, and even straightened my hair...big deal for mom these days) and brought Halloween cupcakes to Dad and all his co-workers. They are all obsessed with you. Daddy works with mostly women and they all can't wait to get their hands on you... but for now they are just content to stare. Even a guy that Daddy works with said you were the cutest little boy, and he is scared of babies normally but you were so dang cute he wanted to hold you.

Daddy just had to pull you out of your car seat to give you hugs and kisses. Then he strapped you back in and you and I headed out for a walk in your awesome stroller (you can thank Daddy for that one) across Gonzaga campus. It was a beautiful fall day and campus is filled with gorgeous trees and their leaves are all changing color. We came home after our walk and I planned on cleaning, but instead I just curled up with you on the couch. I had to leave you for awhile tonight to go visit teach, but when I came home I could see that Daddy had taken good care of you. He had you changed, fed, and swaddled up all cozy like only Daddy can. Not only that but he had a yummy dinner all ready for me too. Take notes Bosty...your dad has this husband thing down. Daddy and I cuddled for awhile while you swung away in your swing, but after awhile we missed you and pulled you into bed with us and the 3 of us just cuddled, talked, kissed and relaxed. I had my head on Daddy's stomach and you were laid across my chest, while you held Daddy's hand.

Now you are sleeping in my lap while I write this post (I have gotten pretty talented at multitasking with you). Today was a truly wonderful day. In fact I LOVED everything about today. Not much gets done these days and I don't always feel quite like myself and I'm always exhausted, but I haven't missed one opportunity to cuddle with you, and Daddy and spend my days learning every little thing about you. Years down the road, I don't think I will look back and regret one moment of skipping out on the dishes to spend time with you and Dad... we will get there, but not today. :)



Monday, October 18, 2010

Our Song

Dear Boston,

Last June Aunt Jen and Aunt Jodi threw us a baby shower and at the shower they played a video of parenting advice from all of my nieces and nephews. Aunt Jen made the video and put the song, "To Make you Feel My Love" on it and ever since then I have thought of you when I think of that song, so from the moment the Doctors placed you on my chest I have been singing that song to you whenever you're having a hard time, or whenever we are just cuddling and you seem to love it. You get very quiet when I start singing and if you were upset, you usually will calm right down. So buddy, this is my song to you. Sometimes love songs make the best lullaby's.

To Make You Feel My Love
Written by Bob Dylan. Sung by Adele

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the earth for you
To make you feel my love


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Best times of your life...

Right after I delivered you
Cuddling after a few nights of no sleep.
Sleeping with Daddy in the middle of the night.
Sleeping on Daddy your second night home.
Right about this moment Daddy said to me, "I was meant to be a dad".
Another tired and wonderful middle of the night feeding.
Our sweet baby on your first night home.
Dear Boston,

I wanted to tell you about our first couple nights home with you. They were the best and hardest of my life. I came home from the hospital very tired and had not slept for two days. Once we were home I still could not sleep for a couple days because I was having some weird but major anxiety, and every time I would lay down I would hear and feel a huge pounding in my head and my heart. So, for another couple days I couldn't sleep at all. This, plus normal recovery from labor made your first days home with us some of the hardest of my life. Thankfully you were and are an angel baby (seriously, I looked it up in Baby Whisperer, took the quiz, and you are in fact an Angel baby). You slept great, hardly cried, and were full of extra cuteness. For these reasons, these days were the best of my life, beyond comparison. I was talking to Aunt Kaz about the experience of entering parenthood and to sum it up I said this,

"We are dead tired, beyond what we have ever felt. we're miserable from a lack of sleep (and anything else that may be going on), I don't know how my body is still functioning because I am so trashed, but all night long we are taking pictures, because we don't want to miss a moment of it".

I think this is a good lesson for life Bosty. Some of life's best experiences (your mission, college, parenting) are the hardest and you don't want to let them pass you by, because amidst all of the hard is so much good. So make sure you take moments to look around you and count your blessings in the good times and the bad, because you just might find that the very best times are smack in the middle of the hardest.

PS You were my best medicine during those first really hard days. :)
PSS One day when you have a wife, and you two have your first baby, ask Daddy for some pointers on how to be supportive of your wife, because he has got that down... and if all else fails just hug and kiss your wife and tell her all will be ok...that worked wonders for me. :)



Sunday, October 10, 2010

Making Memories of Us

Dear Boston,
We met face to to face for the first time, three weeks and one day ago, but you and I have been creating memories together for much longer than that. Here is a list of my favorite memories with you so far:

The day I found out you were in my tummy. Daddy and I jumped up and down and ran around the house, screaming, laughing and crying. We were so excited to start our lives with you.

The first time I felt you kick. I wasn't sure if I was feeling you or not and you had already been in my tummy for 22 weeks. One night while I was sitting on the couch (probably watching Lost reruns) you gave me a nice, big kick! I laughed out loud and couldn't believe not only did I feel your kick, but I saw your kick too! I called Daddy right away and he was so excited. When he got home that night, he got to feel and see some of your big kicks too.

The first time I saw you in an Ultra Sound. You just looked like a little Gummy Bear, but I loved you immediately and Daddy and I both cried because we were so happy to see you.

When Daddy and I found out you were a boy. The whole time I was pregnant we had been referring to the baby in my tummy as Boston. We just felt like you were a boy and we were right! Again...we cried when we found out. Mom and Dad cry ALOT when we're happy. :)

When you would hiccup in my tummy. I would rub my tummy to try and comfort you because your hiccups were pretty big, just like they are now.

The first time I got to see your little cheeks and lips in an Ultra Sound. Feeling you move in my tummy at night and in the morning. I really loved that.

Holding you endlessly in my arms and watching all of your cute (and sometimes sad) face expressions.

Kissing your little cheerio mouth, while you look around with wide eyes, wondering if milk will somehow just drop right in that tiny hole.

Sleeping with you, when I just can't seem to put you down.

Watching you drink your bottle for the first time, after I realized you had been starving for the first few days of life.

My first night up all night with you in the Hospital, taking care of you, and enjoying every diaper change, every cry, every little thing about you.

Nursing you and then watching you chub up, because I am providing for you.

Family kiss fest on your first night home with me and Daddy. You just stared up at us and we kissed each other and you for a good, long, ten minutes. Daddy and I couldn't believe just how lucky we are.

Watching you smile.

Looking at you, while you look at me.

Watching you look intensely at Daddy and hang on his every word.

Singing to you and watching you calm immediately down.

Bringing you into this world and seeing your head full of hair for the first time.

Boston, I cherish every one of these memories with you and I know we are going to create so many more, but my number one favorite memory with you, that will never leave me is the moment they placed you on my chest. We had beautiful church music playing and the room was quiet. After an hour of pushing, all of a sudden, you were here. I couldn't even see your face, but I remember feeling your wrinkly little bum and kissing the top of your head. We heard your first sweet little cries, but as soon as they put you on my chest, you calmed right down. The feeling I had in that moment is beyond description, but I will never forget it. I just could not believe that you were mine. I remember looking over at Daddy and seeing tears stream down his face as he said, "happy birthday Boston". I remember seeing a nurse wipe the tears off her face, but mostly I just remember that feeling of touching you for the first time and knowing that you are all mine...and Daddys. :)