Friday, January 18, 2013

I love you

Dear Boston,

We have many conversations every day, some good, some bad.  We talk a lot about owies and brother and silly things like monkeys and stinky feet.  A lot of our conversations are about why we don't hit brother, time- outs, and time-out buzzers.  Quite a few, "I'm sorry" conversations get passed around throughout the day, from you to brother, me to you and you back to me, (we're a remorseful little bunch).  With thousands of words being tossed around every day I wonder what sticks with you at the end of it all.  I know what I want you to remember.  If only one thing sticks with you at the end of the day I want you to remember how loved and lovable you are.

Just to make sure you remember this every day I take a moment to let you know.  I get down to your level, take your hand and say,

"Boston, look at Momma".  You look up at me with apprehension, not sure if I'm about to do something really silly, or if you're in trouble again.   When I have your attention I say,

"You are such a sweet boy.  Do you know that?  You are a good boy.  You are a good brother and a good son.  I have so much fun with you and I love you so much.  Heavenly Father loves you too.  Do you know that?  Thank you for being my buddy.  You are the best".

As I say these lines, you tilt your head to your shoulder and a sheepish, silly little grin covers your whole face.  You repeat some of your favorite lines.

"Nice.  Good. Brother.  Love you".

I then have a very similar conversation with brother.  I don't think he knows what I'm saying, but just like you he smiles with an uncontrollable grin and probably thinks something like,

"aahhh, that thing I love so much is making so many nice sounds", Daddy and I have determined we're just thing 1 and thing 2, to our kiddos for the first little while.

So Boss if this letter finds you when your 15, 24, or 85 remember that I still love you.  You're still a good boy.  And your Heavenly Father still loves you too.



Saturday, January 5, 2013

Wedgie buns

Dear Isaac,

Do you know you're the only baby I've ever known to get a little wedgie in your diaper?  I don't know how you do it, but those squishy buns of yours make it possible.  I'm sorry, you'll really hate this letter when you're older, but I have just loved having a squishy little baby to love on all day and night.  You are such a wonderful. pleasant little baby.  Everyone comments on what a happy little man you are and how stinkin cute you are too.  I couldn't agree more.  :) 

You're quite the Momma's boy and I'm eating it up.  You don't fuss much, but when you do it's cause your hungry, have a diaper, or just can't stand that you're not in my arms.  When that's the case, the minute I pick you up you get a huge grin on your face and are as content as could be. 

Sometimes I say you're like a big dog that thinks he's a tiny puppy.  You're my big boy and getting so heavy these days, but you love being all squished up in the baby Bjorn, close to Mommy's heart.  I love that you're my cuddle bug.  You're smile is the best and you are so chatty.  I think you'll be quite motivated to pick up the English language fast.  Talking seems to be important to you. 

You are my perfect, precious, wonderful baby and a huge part of me never wants you to grow up cause I don't know if I'll ever have another baby as squishy and sweet and delicious as you.   I'm a lucky Momma, you and your brother are the best of the best.



Answered Prayers

Dear Boston,

Dear Boston,

I have been praying about you for the last week or so and I feel like today the Lord has answered my prayers.  I've been concerned about you at night.  Whenever it's time for bed we do the same routine.  Read a book, then we rock and I sing you a song.  Once I've sang your three special songs I lay you down in bed.  You seem just fine, until I walk out the door and shut and lock it.  That's when you bawl.  You used to be fine with this routine but for the last few months you cry yourself to sleep every single bed time.  It's been breaking my heart and I've felt like there must be a way to help you get the sleep you need without you crying yourself to sleep every night and nap.

So that's what I've been praying about.  I've been asking the Lord to help comfort you, bring you peace, know that you're safe.  I've been praying that he'll bless me and Daddy with insight to know how best to help you, what to do for you.

Today I believe that answer came.  It may seem obvious, but it took me a while to figure it out.  See we've been shutting and locking your door for a long time now, because you would not stay in  your room from the time you got a big boy bed.  Sometimes we'd find you downstairs with dangerous things and it just made us too nervous, so we shut and locked your door.  But you've been growing and changing so much and you listen and obey a little better than you used to, so for nap time I told you that if you stayed in bed we could keep your door open.  You liked that idea and stayed in bed...for the most part.  When you tried to get out I yelled up that I could see you (on the monitor) and to hop back in and you scammered back in.  You played in bed for an hour and then tried to get out again so I shut and locked your door and you cried.

Tonight you were bawling after Daddy tucked you in and I thought to try the door open again.  So I walked you back to bed and you cried, but I asked you if you'd like the door open or closed and you said open.  I said, "OK" and told you we'd be right next door and kissed your little cheek and walked out.  You've been sound asleep in bed, and haven't made a peep.

It makes me so happy to know you're sleeping peacefully and that you went to bed feeling safe and happy.  I feel really bad when I don't know the best way to handle things for you, especially when it makes you so sad, but I love you so much and am working hard to figure out the right ways to handle things.  I quite clearly don't always have the answers, but I'm so grateful that the Lord does and he's so willing to give them to me if I seek them diligently.

Sleep well Darling.