Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Little Conversations

Dear Boston,

Today was an awesome day. Everyone has told me that around 6 weeks I would feel so much better, and it is true. I felt like my old self (the less emotional, more bubbly self) all day today...with an added dose of tiredness, but still...I felt like myself! It is a good feeling. I think I can thank you for that, since you have been doing a great job of sleeping for the last couple nights. You are now sleeping between 5 and 7 hour stretches! YA for sleep! However, about 3 nights ago you did not sleep well at all. I started trying to put you down around 8 (that's what Daddy and I are aiming for now) but you would not go down. I tried for 5 hours sweet boy! And you still didn't fall asleep for another 3 hours! Yikes! When you are older and not going to bed just cause you don't want to, I will probably feel mad at you, but for now you are just my little 10 pounder and you are struggling a whole lot with your silent reflux.

So....after hours of trying to get you to sleep I finally gave up and decided that my only goal was to comfort you while you cried out your pain from the reflux. I held you and talked to you and the following conversation seemed to soothe you quiet a bit...

"I love you. I'm so sorry you're in pain. It is very common for babies to go through what you are going through and I know it doesn't seem like it, but it will get better. This won't last forever. I wish I could take away your pain, but since I can't I will just try to comfort you and hold you and let you know that I am here. Even when you think I'm gone, I'm not really, because if you just cry and let me know you need me, I will run in the room and be right here for you". At some points, during our conversation I just cried with you. :)

You eventually were comforted by this little conversation and fell right to sleep. Every night since that night has been better and better. As I headed to bed that night thinking about our little conversation I felt a sense of de ja vu. That was when I realized that the Lord has that same conversation with me all the time.

I have learned more about Heavenly Father's love for me in the last 10 months and 7 weeks of being your mom then I have learned in the last 25 years. I wrote a letter once saying that I knew your Dad was the right one for me because when I was with him I could feel the Savior's love for me more tangibly... I think anytime this happens in your life, you can't deny that you've got a really good thing going.

So I guess this letter is to tell you that I love you and I love being your Mom.


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